Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

marmlr339

Search for a member

marmlr339
  • Town/Country : Brisbane, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 May 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 6763
  • Number of comments : 325
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

About marmlr339 : Hey, I'm Martin. 23 years old. Love to have a good time. Love clubbing and just being with friends. Never let an opportunity pass you by :-) Add me on facebook: /martin339 or twitter: @marmlr339

marmlr339's last visitors

cwl727adamo_erebusireply_wlyricsalexmac222catunobaebrittany3496Thursdayxorawr_ily96

marmlr339's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of marmlr339's badges

marmlr339's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a missed call from a lady at an employment agency asking why I hadn't turned up to an information session for a potential job. Yesterday, the same lady told me the job position was canceled. FML

#15087030
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20867) - you deserved it (1817)

On 02/23/2011 at 2:10am - work - by ellie (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. We were colouring, and she told me she wanted to draw a picture of me. After she was done, she showed me the picture. I'm drawn as a fat cow. The worst part is, the picture actually looks kinda like me. FML

Today, I went to my "not so technologically advanced" grandma's house to help her out with her computer. It appears she has very interesting conversations with the man who lives in the apartment above her. FML

#15061511
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23794) - you deserved it (3043)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Josie (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

#15056238
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32511) - you deserved it (7505)

On 02/20/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got demoted from my manager's position, only to be replaced by a 21 year old who has never worked in retail in her life. I now have to spend the next month teaching her my job so they can fire me. FML

#15049361
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30439) - you deserved it (3023)

On 02/20/2011 at 6:49am - work - by lisha182 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47893) - you deserved it (40070)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

#15043066
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21658) - you deserved it (3420)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:23pm - work - by Brendan - Canada

Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML

#15039071
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25435) - you deserved it (4265)

On 02/19/2011 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

#15015231
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31119) - you deserved it (2760)

On 02/17/2011 at 11:33am - animals - by Aled (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was in science class studying dead insects for biology. After packing away the jars, I noticed a red-back spider on the bench. Thinking it was missing from a jar, I picked it up. It wasn't missing. It was alive. FML

#15013181
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26326) - you deserved it (4380)

On 02/17/2011 at 5:39am - animals - by shaunaaa (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML

#15011813
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20152) - you deserved it (2938)

On 02/17/2011 at 1:22am - health - by no more tp -

Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML

#15011616
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20803) - you deserved it (3412)

On 02/17/2011 at 12:58am - animals - by hannah (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML

#15005478
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5639) - you deserved it (57689)

On 02/16/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by fail (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML

#14985221
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8510) - you deserved it (30429)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:25am - misc - by a fatty -

Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML

#14983932
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22862) - you deserved it (2225)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: