Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

marmlr339

Search for a member

marmlr339

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 May 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8394
  • Number of comments : 325
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

About marmlr339 : Hey, I'm Martin. 23 years old. Love to have a good time. Love clubbing and just being with friends. Never let an opportunity pass you by :-) Add me on facebook: /martin339 or twitter: @marmlr339

marmlr339's page activity

Visits<b>moonbootz</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 5:14am<b>misteygirl</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 9:27am<b>kpippin14</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 9:30am<b>ilokajkid1369</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 12:14am<b>imaxmain</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 9:16am<b>cartoonboy</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:32am<b>SirRaulB</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 1:08am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 9:24pm<b>cwl727</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 7:25pm<b>yuubi</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 12:52pm<b>ErzaScarlet</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 9:36pm<b>adamo_erebus</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 8:18am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 11:13pm<b>catunobae</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 4:52pm<b>Hobbes94</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 2:36am<b>lizzy6423</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 10:31pm<b>brittany3496</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 9:28pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 12:34am

marmlr339's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of marmlr339's badges

marmlr339's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. We were colouring, and she told me she wanted to draw a picture of me. After she was done, she showed me the picture. I'm drawn as a fat cow. The worst part is, the picture actually looks kinda like me. FML

Today, I went to my "not so technologically advanced" grandma's house to help her out with her computer. It appears she has very interesting conversations with the man who lives in the apartment above her. FML

#15061511
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27722) - you deserved it (3352)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Josie (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barge in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML

#15056238
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34782) - you deserved it (7884)

On 02/20/2011 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by killmenow (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got demoted from my manager's position, only to be replaced by a 21 year old who has never worked in retail in her life. I now have to spend the next month teaching her my job so they can fire me. FML

#15049361
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31606) - you deserved it (3120)

On 02/20/2011 at 6:49am - work - by lisha182 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49291) - you deserved it (41002)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML

#15043066
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23782) - you deserved it (3622)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:23pm - work - by Brendan - Canada

Today, I went to a haunted show restaurant. I needed the toilet badly, but they were inside the building, which could only be gotten to via a ghost train. The footage of me peeing myself in terror on the train was played on a big screen inside, in front of a crowd of onlookers. FML

#15039071
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27237) - you deserved it (4479)

On 02/19/2011 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

#15015231
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32343) - you deserved it (2863)

On 02/17/2011 at 11:33am - animals - by Aled (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was in science class studying dead insects for biology. After packing away the jars, I noticed a red-back spider on the bench. Thinking it was missing from a jar, I picked it up. It wasn't missing. It was alive. FML

#15013181
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29195) - you deserved it (4737)

On 02/17/2011 at 5:39am - animals - by shaunaaa (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML

#15011813
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24943) - you deserved it (3797)

On 02/17/2011 at 1:22am - health - by no more tp -

Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML

#15011616
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23071) - you deserved it (3650)

On 02/17/2011 at 12:58am - animals - by hannah (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at the library, somebody left themselves logged in to Facebook on a public computer after they had left. Trying to teach them a lesson, I updated their Facebook status to something outrageous. That's when they came back to the computer after getting something from the printer. FML

#15005478
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6118) - you deserved it (60204)

On 02/16/2011 at 6:16pm - misc - by fail (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML

#14985221
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9213) - you deserved it (31896)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:25am - misc - by a fatty -

Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML

#14983932
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26515) - you deserved it (2531)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46728) - you deserved it (9260)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: