Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

marmlr339

Search for a member

marmlr339

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 May 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7776
  • Number of comments : 325
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

About marmlr339 : Hey, I'm Martin. 23 years old. Love to have a good time. Love clubbing and just being with friends. Never let an opportunity pass you by :-) Add me on facebook: /martin339 or twitter: @marmlr339

marmlr339's page activity

Visits<b>cartoonboy</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 12:32am<b>SirRaulB</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 1:08am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 9:24pm<b>cwl727</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 7:25pm<b>yuubi</b> - the 03/01/2014 at 12:52pm<b>ErzaScarlet</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 9:36pm<b>adamo_erebus</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 8:18am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 11:13pm<b>catunobae</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 4:52pm<b>Hobbes94</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 2:36am<b>lizzy6423</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 10:31pm<b>brittany3496</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 9:28pm<b>Thursdayxo</b> - the 10/20/2013 at 12:34am<b>rawr_ily96</b> - the 09/08/2013 at 4:37pm<b>TRaww21</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 7:44pm<b>koolkid7777</b> - the 09/06/2013 at 6:51pm<b>mariepastyglue</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 11:44am<b>ThaBoss12</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 8:56pm

marmlr339's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of marmlr339's badges

marmlr339's favorite FMLs

Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML

#15403907
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26388) - you deserved it (13934)

On 03/20/2011 at 7:29pm - work - by AwkwardWaitress (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around, wondering what was so funny, which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked like I'd been giving my pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML

#15386188
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18873) - you deserved it (31228)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:37pm - intimacy - by gayboii (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML

#15385688
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37960) - you deserved it (7073)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Abby_gummibear (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

#15381959
361 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48203) - you deserved it (7835)

On 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm - kids - by jaimie - United States (Florida)

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

#15366508
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28847) - you deserved it (5792)

On 03/18/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by nosleeptilpissoff (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

#15341200
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29348) - you deserved it (4179)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:12pm - animals - by MacGrouber (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML

#15320061
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26623) - you deserved it (12909)

On 03/15/2011 at 9:11am - misc - by nocakeforyou! -

Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML

#15317811
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30613) - you deserved it (11831)

On 03/15/2011 at 1:58am - misc - by Megara (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, a frog made my hot tub his new home. I can't stand frogs and he moves lightening fast. I think the only way to get rid of him is to turn the heat on and boil him. Which I would do if my daughter didn't already adore him. FML

#15312414
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25795) - you deserved it (9914)

On 03/14/2011 at 8:57pm - kids - by BSwan (woman) - Australia

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

#15309756
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107203) - you deserved it (6435) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm - love - by Albert06 - France

Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my cell phone there and had got a text from a guy saying "Hi, how have you been?" FML

#15301527
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52890) - you deserved it (8291)

On 03/14/2011 at 12:07am - love - by wtf -

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

#15281927
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14148) - you deserved it (29174)

On 03/12/2011 at 5:53am - misc - by Nerrh - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

#15275510
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26069) - you deserved it (6498)

On 03/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by mike - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got a super short pixie cut. All my boyfriend could do was stare at me, speechless. I thought he was taken aback by how cute it was until he told me that I look exactly like my fifteen year old brother. FML

#15266054
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21563) - you deserved it (19430)

On 03/10/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by shia -

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

#15261290
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45826) - you deserved it (8713)

On 03/10/2011 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anon (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: