marmlr339

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marmlr339

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 May 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14633
  • Number of comments : 325
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

About marmlr339 : Hey, I'm Martin. 23 years old. Love to have a good time. Love clubbing and just being with friends. Never let an opportunity pass you by :-) Add me on facebook: /martin339 or twitter: @marmlr339

marmlr339's page activity

Visits<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 7:12pm<b>Dov22</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 5:32pm<b>sakat38</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 3:50am<b>ArcaneBullshit</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 4:40pm<b>nch_12</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 1:54am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 9:40pm<b>booze_n_bitches</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 8:06pm<b>deathworldwide</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 1:22am<b>OspreyEagle</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 11:37pm<b>Kitouran</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 6:47pm<b>zach205</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 6:40pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 12:00am<b>TheGreatPotato</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 11:32am<b>AnonymousFML77</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 5:23am<b>desijatt</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 2:55pm<b>Halpak</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 1:37pm<b>clairedabear</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 11:26am<b>Edward862</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 7:49am

Fucked!<b>AnonymousFML77</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 10:22am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 9:39pm

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marmlr339's favorite FMLs

Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML

by AwkwardWaitress / 03/20/2011 at 7:29pm / United Kingdom (London) / Work

Today, while at a boring lecture, I heard some people behind me whispering and laughing. I turned around, wondering what was so funny, which made them laugh even more. I then realised it looked like I'd been giving my pen a blowjob for the last 10 minutes. FML

by gayboii / 03/19/2011 at 5:37pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Intimacy

Today, at the Mommy and Me dance class that I take my four year old daughter to, the instructor had us do a stretch, telling us to pretend we're mermaids. My daughter said to me, "But you're not a mermaid, you're a whale!" FML

by Abby_gummibear / 03/19/2011 at 5:04pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, we were going to Disney World all the way from North Carolina. After 12 hours of driving, my kids started fighting and complaining. My husband finally said, "If I hear you guys one more time we're turning around and going back home." They annoyed him once again, and we actually went home. FML

by jaimie / 03/19/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

by nosleeptilpissoff / 03/18/2011 at 11:54am / United States (Minnesota) / Animals

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

by MacGrouber / 03/16/2011 at 8:12pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML

by nocakeforyou! / 03/15/2011 at 9:11am / Miscellaneous

Today, I was telling my dad about how I emasculated my guy friends because I can drive a stick shift while they can't. He said, "And you wonder why people think you're a lesbian." FML

by Megara / 03/15/2011 at 1:58am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, a frog made my hot tub his new home. I can't stand frogs and he moves lightening fast. I think the only way to get rid of him is to turn the heat on and boil him. Which I would do if my daughter didn't already adore him. FML

by BSwan / 03/14/2011 at 8:57pm / Australia / Animals

Today, I showed my colleagues how I could switch on my webcam at home from the office. That's how we all found out my wife is cheating on me. FML

by Albert06 / 03/14/2011 at 5:26pm / France / Love

Today, I came back to my boyfriend's house where I've been staying to find all my things thrown outside, ruined, including my entire CD collection, textbooks and clothes cut up. All because I had left my cell phone there and had got a text from a guy saying "Hi, how have you been?" FML

by wtf / 03/14/2011 at 12:07am / Love

Today, I tickled my girlfriend, and her first reflex was to swing her elbow back and break my nose. FML

by Nerrh / 03/12/2011 at 5:53am / Australia (Victoria) / Health

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

by mike / 03/11/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, I got a super short pixie cut. All my boyfriend could do was stare at me, speechless. I thought he was taken aback by how cute it was until he told me that I look exactly like my fifteen year old brother. FML

by shia / 03/10/2011 at 7:51pm / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML

by Anon / 03/10/2011 at 10:08am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy