Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

marmlr339

Search for a member

marmlr339
  • Town/Country : Brisbane, Australia
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 May 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 6755
  • Number of comments : 325
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

About marmlr339 : Hey, I'm Martin. 23 years old. Love to have a good time. Love clubbing and just being with friends. Never let an opportunity pass you by :-) Add me on facebook: /martin339 or twitter: @marmlr339

marmlr339's last visitors

cwl727adamo_erebusireply_wlyricsalexmac222catunobaebrittany3496Thursdayxorawr_ily96

marmlr339's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of marmlr339's badges

marmlr339's favorite FMLs

Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML

#20852134
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38108) - you deserved it (13674)

On 08/24/2013 at 11:18am - misc - by cpmolly (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

#16474774
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30783) - you deserved it (2133)

On 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm - work - by corn - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52847) - you deserved it (4073)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

#16326196
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33730) - you deserved it (7318)

On 05/24/2011 at 9:59am - misc - by BurnedByAWaiter -

Today, while I was mowing the lawn in my backyard, I ran over a glass bottle. My legs looked like a disco ball. FML

#16325650
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34070) - you deserved it (8449)

On 05/24/2011 at 8:33am - health - by tash (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

#16019768
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13261) - you deserved it (58281)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by hornyloser (man) - United States (California)

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

#16017887
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20478) - you deserved it (39742)

On 05/02/2011 at 10:30am - work - by MathTeacher (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML

#16017618
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38857) - you deserved it (3838)

On 05/02/2011 at 9:51am - health - by megomania (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why being with a girl while being with me is cheating. FML

#15985772
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35797) - you deserved it (7082)

On 04/30/2011 at 1:06am - love - by Imrickar - United States

Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML

#15985545
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23600) - you deserved it (6878)

On 04/30/2011 at 12:49am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my wife bought $80 worth of Glee songs on iTunes. FML

#15940298
335 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44882) - you deserved it (7759)

On 04/26/2011 at 9:20pm - money - by Chad - United States

Today, I was in the shower 'grooming' myself for my second anniversary with my boyfriend. Halfway through the hot water ran out. I now have the choice of going with the low 'half-fro' or risking hypothermia. My boyfriend thinks hypothermia would be the better option. FML

#15617500
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12381) - you deserved it (18351)

On 04/03/2011 at 5:35am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

#15470057
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37962) - you deserved it (3126)

On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my friends thought it would be hilarious to show me Marley and Me the day right after I had to put down my dog. I had my dog for 11 years. FML

#15437013
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52294) - you deserved it (3668)

On 03/22/2011 at 8:18pm - animals - by awesome -

Today, I am taking a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML

#15416169
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32854) - you deserved it (2673)

On 03/21/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: