About marmlr339 : Hey, I'm Martin. 22 years old. Love to have a good time. Love clubbing and just being with friends. Never let an opportunity pass you by :-)
Add me on facebook: /martin339 or twitter: @marmlr339
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Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30207) - you deserved it (2106)
On 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm - work - by corn - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48138) - you deserved it (3252)
On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29930) - you deserved it (5863)
On 05/24/2011 at 9:59am - misc - by BurnedByAWaiter -
Today, while I was mowing the lawn in my backyard, I ran over a glass bottle. My legs looked like a disco ball. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30675) - you deserved it (7990)
On 05/24/2011 at 8:33am - health - by tash (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12952) - you deserved it (57188)
On 05/02/2011 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by hornyloser (man) - United States (California)
Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18249) - you deserved it (31118)
On 05/02/2011 at 10:30am - work - by MathTeacher (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34423) - you deserved it (2999)
On 05/02/2011 at 9:51am - health - by megomania (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why being with a girl while being with me is cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31196) - you deserved it (5737)
On 04/30/2011 at 1:06am - love - by Imrickar - United States
Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20681) - you deserved it (5472)
On 04/30/2011 at 12:49am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, my wife bought $80 worth of Glee songs on iTunes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44180) - you deserved it (7709)
On 04/26/2011 at 9:20pm - money - by Chad - United States
Today, I was in the shower 'grooming' myself for my second anniversary with my boyfriend. Halfway through the hot water ran out. I now have the choice of going with the low 'half-fro' or risking hypothermia. My boyfriend thinks hypothermia would be the better option. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12129) - you deserved it (18074)
On 04/03/2011 at 5:35am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33226) - you deserved it (2453)
On 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm - misc - by phantomdriver - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my friends thought it would be hilarious to show me Marley and Me the day right after I had to put down my dog. I had my dog for 11 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45993) - you deserved it (2843)
On 03/22/2011 at 8:18pm - animals - by awesome -
Today, I am taking a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29531) - you deserved it (2168)
On 03/21/2011 at 2:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21365) - you deserved it (10491)
On 03/20/2011 at 7:29pm - work - by AwkwardWaitress (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Friday 24 May 2013
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