marmlr339

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marmlr339

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 25 May 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 14630
  • Number of comments : 325
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 33 posted

About marmlr339 : Hey, I'm Martin. 23 years old. Love to have a good time. Love clubbing and just being with friends. Never let an opportunity pass you by :-) Add me on facebook: /martin339 or twitter: @marmlr339

marmlr339's page activity

Visits<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 10/14/2016 at 7:12pm<b>Dov22</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 5:32pm<b>sakat38</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 3:50am<b>ArcaneBullshit</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 4:40pm<b>nch_12</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 1:54am<b>Seabass_Chan</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 9:40pm<b>booze_n_bitches</b> - the 04/18/2016 at 8:06pm<b>deathworldwide</b> - the 03/06/2016 at 1:22am<b>OspreyEagle</b> - the 02/22/2016 at 11:37pm<b>Kitouran</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 6:47pm<b>zach205</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 6:40pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 11/26/2015 at 12:00am<b>TheGreatPotato</b> - the 11/01/2015 at 11:32am<b>AnonymousFML77</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 5:23am<b>desijatt</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 2:55pm<b>Halpak</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 1:37pm<b>clairedabear</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 11:26am<b>Edward862</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 7:49am

Fucked!<b>AnonymousFML77</b> - the 10/28/2015 at 10:22am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 9:39pm

marmlr339's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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Up and coming moderator

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marmlr339's favorite FMLs

Today, I was waiting in line with my boyfriend behind me. I decided to hold his hand and rub his chest while we waited. Then I heard a female voice behind me that said, "Ma'am, please don't touch me." FML

by cpmolly / 08/24/2013 at 11:18am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

by corn / 06/02/2011 at 9:44pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Work

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, I went on a blind date at a fancy restaurant. My date was running a bit late, so I went ahead and got a table. I got bored, so I decided to ask my waiter how I looked. He stood there, then said that "it's against company policy to mock customers to their face." FML

by BurnedByAWaiter / 05/24/2011 at 9:59am / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was mowing the lawn in my backyard, I ran over a glass bottle. My legs looked like a disco ball. FML

by tash / 05/24/2011 at 8:33am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I had some hot phone sex with my long-distance girlfriend. Half-way through, my mom stormed in, and told me I was disgusting and sick for doing it in the same room as my brother. I forgot about the baby monitor. FML

by hornyloser / 05/02/2011 at 2:46pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, after being annoyed one too many times by my students' whiney attitudes, I accidentally blurted out, "Quit being such a bitch," to the superintendent's daughter. FML

by MathTeacher / 05/02/2011 at 10:30am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML

by megomania / 05/02/2011 at 9:51am / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend why being with a girl while being with me is cheating. FML

by Imrickar / 04/30/2011 at 1:06am / United States / Love

Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML

by Username / 04/30/2011 at 12:49am / United States / Health

Today, my wife bought $80 worth of Glee songs on iTunes. FML

by Chad / 04/26/2011 at 9:20pm / United States / Money

Today, I was in the shower 'grooming' myself for my second anniversary with my boyfriend. Halfway through the hot water ran out. I now have the choice of going with the low 'half-fro' or risking hypothermia. My boyfriend thinks hypothermia would be the better option. FML

by Anonymous / 04/03/2011 at 5:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health

Today, my cab driver told me about the time he tried to commit suicide by driving off a bridge... while we were crossing a river. FML

by phantomdriver / 03/24/2011 at 6:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Transportation

Today, my friends thought it would be hilarious to show me Marley and Me the day right after I had to put down my dog. I had my dog for 11 years. FML

by awesome / 03/22/2011 at 8:18pm / Animals

Today, I am taking a 16 hour flight. Five minutes in, the lady on one side has clipped her toenails onto me and the guy on the other side has the most horrific gas I have ever smelled. To help this problem he bought a cheese plate from the stewardess. 15 hours and 55 minutes to go. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 2:36pm / United States (Georgia) / Transportation