Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

marleyvk

Search for a member

marleyvk
  • Town/Country : Canada
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 1440
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

About marleyvk : There is no spoon.

marleyvk's last visitors

Fuaaad1994Jellybellybeanzgreeneyebeauty9ToxicSilencelil_ham1644becauseofcatsZz_I_Raditzdrewski_14FML_Ellebitchimabunnyz33

marleyvk's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

marleyvk's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad finally decided to give me the "sex talk." It was going fine until he said, "If you ever decide to have sex, picture my face like this" and pointed to his face, which had a creepy, intense stare. He just ruined sex for me. Forever. FML

#18467751
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40316) - you deserved it (4928)

On 12/09/2011 at 10:40am - intimacy - by Aly (woman) - United States

Today, my husband bought a horse. We don't own any furniture, but we have a flippin' horse. FML

#15317842
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48021) - you deserved it (6233)

On 03/15/2011 at 2:01am - money - by neverthefirst -

Today, I was finally able to get up and take a shit after being bedridden due to my knee surgery. I had diarrhea and because I can't properly bend my knee, I can't wipe my butt. FML

#15207918
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28869) - you deserved it (3373)

On 03/05/2011 at 4:53pm - health - by 092492 - United States (California)

Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML

#14689182
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32863) - you deserved it (6215)

On 01/23/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up early to go to church with my parents. When I got in the car, I was struck with the worst diarrhea I've ever had in my life. My parents told me I'd be cleaning the car out when we got there, because if we turned around, we'd be late. FML

#14521261
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19514) - you deserved it (2049)

On 01/09/2011 at 2:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML

#14521055
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20802) - you deserved it (3349)

On 01/09/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He's been calling his penis "fun-sized" for a while now, but I didn't know he meant it really was the size of a fun-size candy bar. I'm pretty sure I'm still technically a virgin. FML

#14475422
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46747) - you deserved it (8130)

On 01/05/2011 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

#14295570
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31181) - you deserved it (8181)

On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -

Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML

#14234444
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32249) - you deserved it (2954)

On 12/17/2010 at 11:05am - intimacy - by biblewanker - Australia

Today, I came home and found a can of body spray. My parents get me a new scent whenever they go shopping, which is usually at least twice a week. They left a note: "Do you get it yet?" FML

#13899111
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7829) - you deserved it (27579)

On 11/19/2010 at 11:54am - health - by SODbeatlesMCRlp (man) - United States

Today, I received a restraining order from a girl I have never met. FML

#13808592
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29928) - you deserved it (2945)

On 11/11/2010 at 10:55pm - misc - by Bob - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized the nicest thing my fiancé has said to me all month was that I have "very suckable titties." FML

#13806483
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23601) - you deserved it (5066)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was outside eating my lunch when an old man pulled his pants down and took a dump on the sidewalk next to me. FML

#13805619
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24838) - you deserved it (2339)

On 11/11/2010 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were in his car when he burst out crying, I thought it might have been because we had gotten into a huge fight and he felt bad. No, he cried on my shoulder for a half hour because he misses his ex-girlfriend. He's been writing songs about wanting her back. FML

#13805419
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31376) - you deserved it (3290)

On 11/11/2010 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

#13782516
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35246) - you deserved it (6549)

On 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by single (woman) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: