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mark_my_words
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 October 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 10327
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mark_my_words : my life doesnt suck, and i never have interesting, embarrassing experiences. but i get easily amused by reading about other ppl who do=)

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mark_my_words's favorite FMLs

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

#2405014
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39307) - you deserved it (8763)

On 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm - animals - by reb2632 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

#2232704
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52264) - you deserved it (41153)

On 05/24/2009 at 2:43am - misc - by ineedalifekay (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

#2103981
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17246) - you deserved it (85061)

On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting on a two-person tube slide. As I went to sit in the front I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down, what I assumed was him checking me out. I found out I was wrong when he said, "Heaviest in back." FML

#2040967
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42996) - you deserved it (7060)

On 05/18/2009 at 1:48am - health - by barbie (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

#2019724
626 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22016) - you deserved it (253215)

On 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by karmasabitch (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

#1930454
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14305) - you deserved it (87460)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

#1683242
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54750) - you deserved it (19119)

On 05/06/2009 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I finally hooked up with a boy I really liked. We were lying in bed and my panties were already off when he asked me : "Would you also have sex with me if you weren't drunk?". I responded "Yes!" and asked him the same question, at which he responded : "No, probably not." FML

#61161
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53204) - you deserved it (10503)

On 02/17/2009 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Dannylover (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

#487
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30002) - you deserved it (6378)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:48am - intimacy - by Sugao - Sent from mobile version

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

#487
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30002) - you deserved it (6378)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:48am - intimacy - by Sugao - Sent from mobile version

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

#487
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30002) - you deserved it (6378)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:48am - intimacy - by Sugao - Sent from mobile version



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