mark_my_words

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mark_my_words

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 26 October 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10830
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About mark_my_words : my life doesnt suck, and i never have interesting, embarrassing experiences. but i get easily amused by reading about other ppl who do=)

mark_my_words's page activity

Visits<b>yackieegx</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 3:22pm<b>holymacabre</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 10:10am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 10:49am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 9:13am<b>GotItWow</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 4:28pm<b>friferntien</b> - the 06/26/2013 at 5:53pm<b>allmidnighteyes</b> - the 10/05/2009 at 4:23pm<b>lukeskates</b> - the 09/22/2009 at 6:46pm<b>Htownmichigan</b> - the 09/04/2009 at 4:41am<b>fmlette</b> - the 09/04/2009 at 1:07am<b>ch2358</b> - the 09/01/2009 at 4:41pm<b>prplr</b> - the 08/26/2009 at 6:37pm<b>depinaariana</b> - the 08/02/2009 at 7:59am<b>SirColton</b> - the 07/28/2009 at 5:36pm<b>littlebopeep10</b> - the 07/22/2009 at 7:43pm<b>wenchywench</b> - the 07/19/2009 at 3:09am<b>uj</b> - the 07/09/2009 at 8:16am<b>b0rnxfam0us</b> - the 06/18/2009 at 11:35pm

mark_my_words's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

mark_my_words's favorite FMLs

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

by reb2632 / 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

by ineedalifekay / 05/24/2009 at 2:43am / Canada (British Columbia) / Holidays

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

by Takuma / 05/20/2009 at 1:10am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the water park with my boyfriend. We were getting on a two-person tube slide. As I went to sit in the front I noticed the lifeguard looking me up and down, what I assumed was him checking me out. I found out I was wrong when he said, "Heaviest in back." FML

by barbie / 05/18/2009 at 1:48am / United States (Indiana) / Health

Today, I had my high school reunion. The nerdy guy that I picked on all 4 years had married a Swedish supermodel, then divorced her for a Brazilian supermodel. My girlfriend works at 7-11. Karma sucks. FML

by karmasabitch / 05/17/2009 at 4:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, was my first meeting with business partners as I am new to the team. Instead of saying that I was looking forward to "stretching my legs" or "spreading my wings", I told them I was anxious to start "spreading my legs". FML

by Anonymous / 05/06/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I finally hooked up with a boy I really liked. We were lying in bed and my panties were already off when he asked me : "Would you also have sex with me if you weren't drunk?". I responded "Yes!" and asked him the same question, at which he responded : "No, probably not." FML

by Dannylover / 02/17/2009 at 3:53pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

by Sugao / 12/10/2008 at 2:48am / Intimacy

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

by Sugao / 12/10/2008 at 2:48am / Intimacy

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

by Sugao / 12/10/2008 at 2:48am / Intimacy