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Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, some beefed-up guy wearing a wife-beater sat in my restaurant, took out a big sack of coins, and played My Little Pony songs on the jukebox for 4 hours straight. I couldn't summon the courage to tell him to leave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16597) - you deserved it (3684)
On 12/15/2012 at 7:57pm - work - by lingling (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21509) - you deserved it (1672)
On 12/15/2012 at 10:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, in class, I reached into my bag to pull out a tampon, which I hid under my sleeve so I could make a quick escape to the restroom. My teacher yelled at me, because she thought I'd taken out my phone. I then had to prove myself by showing the tampon to the whole class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25384) - you deserved it (1735)
On 12/14/2012 at 1:40am - health - by bloodyfreakinawful - United States (Texas)
Today, in history class, we were talking about Ancient Rome, and what childbirth would have been like back then. One girl asked in all seriousness why they didn't use ultrasound machines to see what sex their babies were. I have to deal with people like this on a daily basis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20480) - you deserved it (1096)
On 12/13/2012 at 6:44pm - misc - by surrounded by dumbfucks (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18699) - you deserved it (1027)
On 12/13/2012 at 3:31am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20545) - you deserved it (4918)
Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16295) - you deserved it (1253)
On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I had to get to class at 9:00 to take a test. I woke up at 6:00, and figured I could wait a few minutes before getting ready. The next thing I knew, it was 10:30. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15941) - you deserved it (13901)
On 12/11/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21200) - you deserved it (3974)
On 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by skinnybitch (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19088) - you deserved it (4158)
On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)
Today, it's my sixth day taking care of my family's seven animals while my parents are in Singapore. So far, I've emergency-called the vet twice, taken a dog to the vet once, and cleaned up liquid dog shit five times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16497) - you deserved it (1938)
On 12/09/2012 at 8:18am - animals - by KennyDidIt - United States (Alabama)
Today, after two weeks of being grounded, I was finally let out of the house by my mom. I had to call her at 1am asking her to come get me, because I got so drunk, I told my ride to leave without me. I'm grounded again after less than a day of freedom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3791) - you deserved it (53553)
On 12/09/2012 at 5:14am - misc - by Tasha_1996 (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, feeling very distant to my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3504) - you deserved it (37946)
On 12/08/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I realized the dress I bought yesterday still had the security tag on. I returned to the store to get it removed, only to realize my receipt was misplaced. The lady at the counter thought I stole it, called security, and had me escorted out, dress-less. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20174) - you deserved it (2570)
On 12/08/2012 at 12:12pm - money - by bitchsawmebuyit - United States (New York)
Today, I was snooping around in my parents' closet to see what I would get for Christmas, when I came across a UPS package. It was the video game I ordered off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressed to me. They told me it had never arrived and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21583) - you deserved it (2991)
On 12/08/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Monday 20 May 2013
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