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marisol180's FML badges
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
marisol180's favorite FMLs
Today, I have to look after my best friend's parrot for a few days. One minute out of the room, I came back in to find out that the parrot had taught my three-year-old the word "slut". Now the two won't stop screaming "slut" throughout the whole house. My wife thinks both learned the word from me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/09/2016 at 3:39pm / Germany (Bayern) / Animals
Today, after finally applying myself and busting my butt all semester, I found out the school is accusing me of cheating because they couldn't believe I could have gotten near-perfect grades considering my grade history. If this is how society rewards academic turnarounds, why do I even bother? FML
by CantWin / 06/07/2016 at 6:38pm / United States (Utah) / Geek
Today, my boyfriend called me into the bathroom and proudly showed me how far back he could stand from the toilet while he peed. Unfortunately, he got distracted and peed all over the floor I had mopped just an hour before. FML
by Anonymous / 06/07/2016 at 3:45am / Love
by KiwiMaid / 06/03/2016 at 6:31am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous
by Yeahyeahyeah / 06/01/2016 at 10:11pm / United States (Utah) / Kids
Today, I decided to work on my social anxiety by ordering some food. I waited in line, practicing my order in my head all the way. When I got to the front, I said my order with no mistakes. The cashier just stared blankly at me until I mumbled, "Never mind..." and left. FML
by EyesofStone / 05/31/2016 at 9:03pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was so tired, I passed out at work in the middle of a call. All because my neighbor's car alarm kept going off every 3 minutes all through the morning. It was still going when I left for work. If you see a news story in a few days about a whole neighborhood beating a guy to death, that's probably us. FML
by Anonymous / 05/28/2016 at 9:00am / United States (Georgia) / Work
by Lexyy17 / 05/27/2016 at 10:43pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend added me to his friends' private Whatsapp group, after weeks of asking him to include me in more of his life. It turns out almost all they do is post pictures of their shits and rate them. There is nearly a year's worth of pictures. FML
by ~~~~ / 05/27/2016 at 2:45pm / Belgium (Antwerpen) / Miscellaneous
Today, due to a new tattoo, I can't wear a bra for the next few days. My coworker knows about it and thought it would be funny to blast the air-con all day. I swear I could have used my nipples to type this, instead of my fingers. FML
by milliepede / 05/27/2016 at 12:03pm / Health
Today, at my job as a teacher, I saw a student cut another student's hair, I stopped a group of students from eating glue, and I had to tell a student to put away the toy cars he was playing with. I teach high school math. FML
by Courtney / 05/26/2016 at 8:12am / United States / Work
Today, I had a guest at my house. I stood up to shake her hand and kiss her on both cheeks, which is common in my culture. When she was kissing my cheeks, I went the opposite way from her and I ended up kissing her on the lips instead. Her eyes went big and I ran away. FML
by lmaofuck / 05/25/2016 at 9:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went to a trampoline park and jumped into an adult-area foam pit that apparently used to be for children. I guess it never occurred to them to change the depth of it, as I now have a fractured ankle. FML
by anonymous / 05/25/2016 at 8:34pm / United States (New Mexico) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/25/2016 at 12:38pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, we took an AP exam for Literature. One of the passages was about keeping in feelings in a relationship so that no one is "a burden". My boyfriend read the same passage and felt like he was a burden. I can't convince him otherwise. Thank you college board for endangering my relationship. FML
by welp / 05/22/2016 at 4:22pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
- Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me… Today, I came back from the hospital after back surgery which required putting screws in my spine.… Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and…