This member hasn't filled in the description.
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13613) - you deserved it (9928)
On 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)
Today, to help me get over my crippling social anxiety, my therapist encouraged me to sing in front of a crowd, since I actually have a fine singing voice. I ended up fainting onstage, mid-song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14800) - you deserved it (1193)
On 11/04/2012 at 2:28am - misc - by Chuffy (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I realized that I'm a terrible human being. For the first time in my life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of my face long enough for me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3943) - you deserved it (18649)
On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by justcomesnaturally (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23756) - you deserved it (2247)
On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my hair straightener broke. My husband suggested putting electrical tape on it because it was heat proof. I did and started straightening my hair. The supposed heat proof tape melted and got stuck in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6316) - you deserved it (19473)
On 11/03/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27168) - you deserved it (1800)
On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26440) - you deserved it (3619)
On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26440) - you deserved it (3619)
On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I finally got to attend the concert I have been anticipating for weeks. The band was great. The drunk guy sitting behind me yelling profanity and out of tune lyrics in my ear throughout the entire show, however, was not. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13825) - you deserved it (1468)
On 11/02/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by annoyed - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16576) - you deserved it (1146)
On 11/01/2012 at 1:08am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was handing candy to a little boy who was trick or treating by himself. He was small enough to grab the candy and run past me into my house. I've been searching my house for two hours and still can't find him. I'm afraid to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25584) - you deserved it (1537)
On 10/31/2012 at 11:04pm - kids - by ananymous - United States (New York)
Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23331) - you deserved it (2376)
On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19328) - you deserved it (1321)
On 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8540) - you deserved it (16111)
On 10/29/2012 at 2:10pm - kids - by JiggaJayZ - United States
Today, I went bowling. I noticed a 10-year-old holding an iPod Touch which had the exact same customized case with my name on it as my iPod that was stolen a year ago at the same bowling centre. Even better, the parents yelled at me for accusing him. I got kicked out the bowling centre. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21019) - you deserved it (1702)
On 10/26/2012 at 5:40am - misc - by davifilo (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Friday 24 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
