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marisol180's FML badges
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marisol180's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/07/2014 at 7:24pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML
by =( / 04/05/2014 at 1:48pm / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML
by Anonymous / 03/31/2014 at 10:08pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by phantomthelabrat / 03/31/2014 at 8:24am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had to take the train from my hometown to my university for a very important meeting concerning my foreign exchange program. When I finally arrived, I noticed a Post-it on the door: "Meeting cancelled, sick". I basically made a 9-hour day-trip for a half-an-hour walk. FML
by Anonymous / 03/31/2014 at 7:49am / Netherlands (Zeeland) / Miscellaneous
by Cult / 03/30/2014 at 10:27am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by ClaustrophobicNightmares / 03/28/2014 at 4:42am / Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad) / Work
Today, I was sitting in the coffee shop where my boyfriend and I used to go before he broke up with me about a week ago. I was missing him and wishing he was there, when all of a sudden this 14-year-old kid comes up to me and says, "He's not coming, you may as well go home." FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2014 at 7:03pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Love
Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML
by In urgent need of a new roommate / 03/26/2014 at 7:44pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals
by husbands addiction / 03/26/2014 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched my daughter squealing with delight in front of a video game. Beating a boss? Slaying an adversary? Completing a quest? Not at all. She was chasing birds, making them fly away, then starting all over again as soon as they landed. She's 19. FML
by melimelo24 / 03/13/2014 at 5:33am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Today, I awoke to the sound of a gunshot, followed by children screaming. I leapt out of bed and ran to my balcony, only to see people casually milling around the elementary school parking lot under a "Science Fair" banner. A kid's science experiment scared me shitless. FML
by gracehi / 03/07/2014 at 3:29pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Silver_Jet / 03/05/2014 at 8:59pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was trying to study for a test when my brother and his friends decided to play the chant game, meaning one person yells something weird and everyone else has to say it back without laughing. All I heard for about two hours was them yelling things like, "DICK NIPPLES." FML
by DIY560 / 02/23/2014 at 10:59pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML
by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, after seven months studying in Italy, I understood that the « Finocchio » nickname that my… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…