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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, my boyfriend, who lives 100 miles away and whom I haven't seen in 2 months, told me he was visiting my city with some friends. I assumed this was an opening to an invitation, but no, he just asked me about the best places to get drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15397) - you deserved it (1965)
On 08/10/2012 at 8:57am - misc - by blink_kid - United Kingdom (West Lothian)
Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22103) - you deserved it (11907)
On 08/10/2012 at 1:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Europe
Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16706) - you deserved it (1978)
On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)
Today, I started my dream job of being a veterinarian. My first day consisted of having to put down 12 dogs and 5 cats. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24799) - you deserved it (2914)
On 08/10/2012 at 12:37am - work - by mike h - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, at work, I decided to make things more interesting, so when I called people I used a fake accent. As I was using an Australian accent, the person I was talking to asked me where in Australia I was from. I desperately replied, "Where the kangaroos are..." I'm now jobless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4233) - you deserved it (22582)
On 08/09/2012 at 5:42pm - work - by sincerely depressed. - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14607) - you deserved it (1221)
On 08/09/2012 at 10:51am - health - by MsConfusedd - United States (New York)
Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13945) - you deserved it (2257)
On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11742) - you deserved it (12453)
On 08/09/2012 at 7:39am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found myself actively concerned about what the characters from "Will and Grace" have been doing since the show went off the air. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4388) - you deserved it (10967)
On 08/09/2012 at 6:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, as I was cashing a customer out, he stopped me in the middle of the transaction just to tell me that the condoms he was buying are too big for him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16404) - you deserved it (1497)
On 08/09/2012 at 2:44am - intimacy - by rxcrs3 - United States
Today, I found one of my mom's old diaries that dated back to my infant days. I couldn't help but read a little. I'm now in great concern over how many times my mom wrote that she wanted to dunk me in the toilet or throw me against a wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16618) - you deserved it (2312)
On 08/09/2012 at 12:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, my wife yelled at me for admitting I take my wedding ring off at work. I explained that I work in a chemistry lab and don't want to damage it. She laughed and said, "Oh please, that chemistry stuff is nonsense anyway." All while reading her horoscope. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22089) - you deserved it (2536)
On 08/08/2012 at 7:03pm - love - by Dumbfounded - United States (Texas)
Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22815) - you deserved it (2184)
On 08/08/2012 at 9:53am - work - by blakeintheoffice - United States
Today, I learned that my son goes on online chat rooms and has sexual fantasy role-play. To make matters worse, the characters he uses are from My Little Pony. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22596) - you deserved it (2784)
On 08/08/2012 at 4:02am - intimacy - by FMLMom - United States (California)
Today, the highlight of my day was that I could afford name-brand ketchup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15560) - you deserved it (1561)
On 08/08/2012 at 12:19am - money - by Heinz (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 20 May 2013
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