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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20091) - you deserved it (1343)
On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States
Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14275) - you deserved it (888)
On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my friend joked to my co-workers that my kitty-cat of a husband was going to beat me for spending $200 on shoes. Later on, my rather large dog was so excited to see me when I walked in the door, he split my lip. Somehow, I don't think they'll believe me when I get to the office tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14797) - you deserved it (1808)
On 11/06/2012 at 4:32am - work - by iLuvsIt (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my best friend got engaged to the guy she's been seeing for five years. He also happens to be the man I've been in love with for eight. As she was giving me the details, she nonchalantly gave me her reason for accepting the proposal: "Why the hell not, there's always divorce." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18915) - you deserved it (2708)
On 11/05/2012 at 9:48pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I'm so broke, I asked my parents if they'd pay for me to go to the eye doctor and consider it my Christmas present. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16082) - you deserved it (1270)
On 11/05/2012 at 8:01pm - money - by EB - United States
Today, I witnessed my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18043) - you deserved it (1911)
On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.
Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13462) - you deserved it (1269)
On 11/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I sampled some of the food my fiancée's mom is making for our wedding. Everything tasted terrible, and I almost vomited. Turns out she never actually went to culinary school as she claimed, but had just watched Julie and Julia. It's too late to book another caterer for the wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17372) - you deserved it (3479)
On 11/03/2012 at 3:42pm - health - by WeddingWoes (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, at my school they were having a carnival to raise money. One of the patrons suggested that if they wanted to make money, they should have people pledge money to make me cover my ugly face with a bag. The school got over $500, and I had to wear a bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22024) - you deserved it (1549)
On 11/01/2012 at 7:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I worked up the courage to give a guy my number. I wrote it down on a piece of paper, tore it in half and gave it to him. Later, I noticed I'd given him the wrong, blank half. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13486) - you deserved it (7070)
On 11/01/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16457) - you deserved it (938)
On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18294) - you deserved it (2451)
On 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I tagged along with some friends to a party in the woods. Halfway into the night, a party-goer's boyfriend got extremely drunk and violent, causing the others to panic and drive away in the two cars we pooled in. My best friend and I had to run all the way back home on foot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12429) - you deserved it (2513)
On 10/26/2012 at 4:49pm - misc - by Miss Spasticator (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19138) - you deserved it (1930)
On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States
Today, my mom called me an asshole. She was embarrassed when she saw that a visiting family member had overheard, and tried to cover it up with, "Honey, you are a casserole! You are just delicious, any guy is gonna want you sweetie!" She honestly thought this would work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18352) - you deserved it (1222)
On 10/25/2012 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Agirl (woman) - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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