Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mario2012

Offline (the 01/27/2014 at 4:22am) | Search for a member

mario2012

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 December 1981 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2560
  • Number of comments : 413
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

mario2012's page activity

Visits<b>crazyostrichlady</b> - 17 hours ago<b>toiletgod</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:22pm<b>MrAwesomenezz</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:32pm<b>username869</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:12am<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 3:33pm<b>Robbieisadowg</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 7:53am<b>ghostsoul21</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 1:59pm<b>iPoptard</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 1:34pm<b>MsMarti</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 10:36am<b>JustTemporary</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 4:19am<b>SIimShady</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 6:59pm<b>PeterCapaldi</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 4:03pm<b>alexishbu</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 11:26am<b>AvSvart</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 2:42am<b>Makifuun</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:43am<b>izbechillin</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:42am<b>PickledSweets</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:05pm<b>funkychicken245</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 9:01pm

mario2012's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of mario2012's badges

mario2012's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to get over my lifelong fear of Michael Jackson. I went to have my photo taken with a statue of him. Little did I know, for Halloween week they replace the statues with real people. It jumped out at me; I'm never getting over this fear. FML

#20939955
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42338) - you deserved it (6607)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:41am - misc - by Shady_Soldier - United Kingdom

Today, I put a picture of my cat on Facebook. A stranger sent me a message saying how "attractive" she was and that her eyes are "very seductive". So, basically, someone is trying to hit on my cat. FML

#20938804
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40066) - you deserved it (4449)

On 10/30/2013 at 3:03am - animals - by meow (woman) - United States

Today, l grounded my 17-year-old son from his computer because of his terrible attitude towards his homework. As payback, he convinced my 5-year-old daughter that if she goes to sleep, she'll never wake up. I now have a hysterical and sleepless child to deal with. FML

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML

#20936378
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27313) - you deserved it (40452)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:58am - love - by BaconLover - Japan

Today, my dog had an upset stomach and diarrhea. To avoid a mess on the carpet, I confined her to a gated area in the kitchen with sheets over the floor, so any mess could be cleaned up easily. Instead of going on the sheets, she sprayed shit all up the walls. FML

#20933932
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42889) - you deserved it (6481)

On 10/25/2013 at 9:50pm - animals - by kiwibox - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I got into a fight with my mother. Her idea of a birthday present to me is buying me a husband. Yes, buying. She told an asshat she found online about my trust fund, and now they're both trying to put together "the wedding of the millennium". She still doesn't understand why I'm mad. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me how jealous he gets when I "hang out" with Dylan. Dylan is the 5-year-old boy whom I babysit every day. My boyfriend wants me to stop, because apparently Dylan cockblocks him. FML

#20933884
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43775) - you deserved it (4827)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I called my dad to let him know some details for my wedding had changed. It would have been really nice if he had paused the porno I could clearly hear in the background. FML

#20921288
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46049) - you deserved it (3803)

On 10/15/2013 at 6:10am - intimacy - by hes (woman) - United States

Today, after paying back the money my grandma lent me to fix my car, I stepped outside, only to see my car leaking antifreeze all over the driveway. I had to ask for the money back to fix it again. FML

#20916786
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40185) - you deserved it (3437)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:53pm - money - by broke_broken - United States (Utah)

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38069) - you deserved it (3271)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, while out jogging with my mom, we saw my boyfriend walking in our direction. When we reached him, he took one look at my makeup-less face, then made a huge show of screaming in disgust before calmly walking away. FML

#20880120
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45197) - you deserved it (5005)

On 09/13/2013 at 8:37pm - misc - by -___- (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mother informed me that we are no longer taking my graduation trip to New York. Instead, she and her group of continuously drunk friends are going to Vegas because, "We could win the jackpot and take you on an even bigger trip to New York!" She's never won anything in her whole life. FML

#20875663
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48487) - you deserved it (3128)

On 09/10/2013 at 11:52am - money - by zcollins - United States (California)

Today, my sister, who knows I'm severely afraid of heights, got me tickets to sky dive for my birthday. When I reminded her of my fear, she stated that she forgot and should just keep them for herself and her boyfriend. My mom agreed. FML

#20875635
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44552) - you deserved it (3615)

On 09/10/2013 at 10:56am - money - by PartTimePrincess (woman) - United States

Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML

#20872521
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46481) - you deserved it (4613)

On 09/08/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

#20866213
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46073) - you deserved it (2731)

On 09/03/2013 at 3:50pm - work - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: