Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

mario2012

Offline (the 01/27/2014 at 4:22am) | Search for a member

mario2012

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 December 1981 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2938
  • Number of comments : 413
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

mario2012's page activity

Visits<b>epic174</b> - yesterday at 11:32am<b>JHPugh</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:42pm<b>FusionPlacebo</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 2:56pm<b>crazyostrichlady</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:12pm<b>toiletgod</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:22pm<b>MrAwesomenezz</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 2:32pm<b>username869</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 12:12am<b>Tobiaspe</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 3:33pm<b>Robbieisadowg</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 7:53am<b>ghostsoul21</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 1:59pm<b>iPoptard</b> - the 06/29/2014 at 1:34pm<b>MsMarti</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 10:36am<b>JustTemporary</b> - the 06/24/2014 at 4:19am<b>SIimShady</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 6:59pm<b>PeterCapaldi</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 4:03pm<b>alexishbu</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 11:26am<b>AvSvart</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 2:42am<b>Makifuun</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 1:43am

mario2012's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

See all of mario2012's badges

mario2012's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

#21192088
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48067) - you deserved it (3506)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML

#21160325
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41636) - you deserved it (4240)

On 06/02/2014 at 10:00am - love - by CorCelesti (woman) - United States

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

#21148317
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42836) - you deserved it (4439)

On 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm - work - by What am I doing with my life? - United States (Colorado)

Today, my computer crashed and lost all of its data while I was making a back up. FML

#21134602
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39763) - you deserved it (3790)

On 05/09/2014 at 1:35am - misc - by mlowy - Azerbaijan (Baki)

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

#21132249
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50047) - you deserved it (18164)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

#21130670
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42952) - you deserved it (6135)

On 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I met up with my group for class. We were doing some final checks on the project we've been working on all semester, when I realized something about one guy's work seemed off. I googled it and found out it's almost completely plagiarized. It's all due in the morning. FML

#21130579
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40437) - you deserved it (3650)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh". Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though". FML

#21128889
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41042) - you deserved it (3988)

On 05/02/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML

#21128831
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41709) - you deserved it (3161)

On 05/02/2014 at 2:20pm - misc - by thanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36210) - you deserved it (3979)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my nephews discovered how to trick my washing machine into starting up while the door is still open. My laundry room is now flooded, and their mom refuses to accept any responsibility for it. FML

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: