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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, I was roasting marshmallows around a campfire when mine burst into flames. I instinctively shook the stick to get it to go out. The flaming marshmallow then catapulted straight into my eye, burning my whole eyelid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14144) - you deserved it (6879)
On 05/19/2013 at 1:26am - misc - by Devin - United States
Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12989) - you deserved it (5528)
On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)
Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30788) - you deserved it (9769)
On 05/17/2013 at 4:49pm - health - by sprainedankle - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)
Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48843) - you deserved it (9272)
On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17791) - you deserved it (60770)
On 05/01/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by luvs2spooge89 - United States (New York)
Today, while paying a $60 tab on drinks for a girl, a guy grabs the money-clip out of my hand and runs. I start to chase after him; the girl trips me, then runs after him. The bartender calls the cops; not to catch the thieves, but to report me for not paying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45230) - you deserved it (3482)
On 05/01/2013 at 6:30am - money - by Alexman1985 -
Today, my friend made me go on a carnival ride. The whole time, I complained that I was going to puke. I didn't, though. She did, all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34620) - you deserved it (4900)
On 04/27/2013 at 11:25pm - misc - by gross. - United States (Mississippi)
Today, while he was eating chicken, one of my friends asked me why I'm a vegetarian. I responded that I believe in animal rights and don't like the conditions the animals are forced to live in. He looked at me incredulously before explaining that "chickens aren't animals, they're birds." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34593) - you deserved it (7340)
On 04/26/2013 at 9:23am - animals - by revan546 - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, as I was walking down the street, a car full of hot girls pulled up and asked if I wanted to party; obviously, I said yes. They then shot at me with party poppers and threw party food all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36970) - you deserved it (7688)
On 04/26/2013 at 4:36am - misc - by KingUrge (man) - United States (California)
Today, a huge and angry man stormed into my work and threatened to kill me if I didn't stop sleeping with his wife. He then threatened to come back and kick my ass if I so much as texted his wife again. The problem is, I'm married, have never cheated and I work for my wife's father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45844) - you deserved it (2102)
On 04/26/2013 at 1:20am - love - by sad guy - United States
Today, I got home and noticed people were looking at my next-door neighbor's house that is for rent. Peering closer, I realized my ex-boyfriend and the girl he cheated on me with a few months ago are inside. After they left, the "for rent" sign came down. I've got new neighbors. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43723) - you deserved it (2144)
On 04/25/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by nodullmoment (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I was yelled at and called a pedophile by a mom for talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library and she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38346) - you deserved it (2806)
On 04/25/2013 at 9:37pm - kids - by LibraryPedo (man) - United States (California)
Today, my seven-year-old nephew challenged me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me, and then asked my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44627) - you deserved it (18133)
On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - kids - by BIGCHEIFAAA (man) - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend and I got into an argument. Naturally, I drove over to my best friend's house for comfort. My boyfriend saw me driving past his house and promptly broke up with me for being "a psycho stalker." She lives across the street from him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42820) - you deserved it (4853)
On 04/22/2013 at 1:06am - love - by And you think I'M crazy? (woman) - United States
Today, is the day of the biggest concert in the state of Florida, and it's also my birthday. I was so excited to hear my mom got tickets. It was for her boyfriend and her. I'm stuck at home babysitting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48746) - you deserved it (3339)
On 04/14/2013 at 9:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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