mario2012

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Offline (the 01/27/2014 at 4:22am)

mario2012

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 December 1981 (34 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6202
  • Number of comments : 413
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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mario2012's page activity

Visits<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 11:12pm<b>Spiral061</b> - the 03/22/2016 at 6:31pm<b>adriannaee</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:57pm<b>sjb_2015</b> - the 12/14/2015 at 9:10pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 2:59pm<b>HoboRain</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 9:07pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 9:06am<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:52pm<b>StolenKnight</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 11:24am<b>Bono363</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 10:33am<b>anxiousaly</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 2:46pm<b>Lunallia</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 10:37am<b>Giggidypope</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 4:30am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 3:01pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 8:25am<b>ilikeoreos222</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 5:24pm<b>ethan043</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 8:22am<b>epic174</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 11:32am

Fucked!<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 5:12am

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mario2012's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to go pick up my kid, because he threw up while playing at his friend's house. The boy's mother bitched me out for not keeping my son at home while he was "ill". Her breath was unspeakably foul. So foul that it caused me to throw up too. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2014 at 12:16am / United States / Kids

Today, I got written up for drinking on the job by a manager who drinks on the job, who was told to write me up by a general manager who drinks on the job, and we are all employed by an owner who drinks on the job. I haven't had a drink in 3 weeks. FML

by DJJayLee / 06/23/2014 at 1:45am / United States (Nevada) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was on vacation, when a very cute guy starting talking to me and asked me what my name was. Overwhelmed and stressed out, I blurted out that I didn't have one. FML

by Boulette / 06/23/2014 at 1:44am / Love

Today, I got married. My father saw this as a good time to give some solemn, heartfelt advice to my new husband: "That ring gets real heavy fast." I was standing right there. So was my mother. FML

by CorCelesti / 06/02/2014 at 10:00am / United States / Love

Today, I collected my students' final essays. One of them submitted a printout of a screenshot he took with his phone. Too bad a browser address bar was still in the shot, along with a "click to read more" link at the bottom. My students are too dumb and lazy to even plagiarize properly. FML

by What am I doing with my life? / 05/22/2014 at 12:47pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, I finally decided to get my five-year-old son a rabbit, so I explained to him how to take care of it. When I'd finished listing all the things he'd have to do, he replied, "That's too complicated... Couldn't we just eat it instead?" FML

by Anonyme / 05/16/2014 at 3:55am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals

Today, my computer crashed and lost all of its data while I was making a back up. FML

by mlowy / 05/09/2014 at 1:35am / Azerbaijan (Baki) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML

by chumman / 05/06/2014 at 9:55am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Work

Today, I met up with my group for class. We were doing some final checks on the project we've been working on all semester, when I realized something about one guy's work seemed off. I googled it and found out it's almost completely plagiarized. It's all due in the morning. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2014 at 2:57pm / United States / Work

Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh". Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2014 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML

by thanks / 05/02/2014 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2014 at 10:04am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, my nephews discovered how to trick my washing machine into starting up while the door is still open. My laundry room is now flooded, and their mom refuses to accept any responsibility for it. FML

by MisterGasMoney / 04/13/2014 at 1:08pm / United States (New York) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my co-worker started talking in third person. Not only that, but he narrates his daily tasks. "Jeff reached for a stapler", "Jeff stapled a report". I have to sit beside this chimp for 8 hours a day, and nothing I say can end this. FML

by war_monkey / 04/10/2014 at 8:20am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.