About manicethemage : So I just put anything in here and it will appear on my profile?
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manicethemage's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 7:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't follow her latest fad of becoming a goth, which involves dressing like an undertaker's haunted hearse and putting on eyeliner. Last week she was into Reggae and beanie hats. FML
by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 7:27am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, I got yelled at by my boss for being insensitive to a customer. I'd told her I never heard of the requested item even existing. She walked off shouting, screaming and throwing stuff from the shelf. She wanted to order a bird feeder with heated perches so the bird's feet won't get cold. FML
by midwesternpetclerk / 11/08/2011 at 11:06pm / United States / Work
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
by InstantHardOn / 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I found out my soon to be ex-husband is going to be a father. We spent our entire marriage unsuccessfully trying for a baby. The mother of his unborn child isn't his new girlfriend, but someone else he was cheating on her with. Our divorce isn't even finalized yet. FML
by Anonymous / 11/07/2011 at 3:48pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love
by Dlord357 / 11/07/2011 at 9:24am / United States (Florida) / Work
by OhHeySlogan / 11/06/2011 at 1:24pm / United States (Texas) / Health
Today, I was attending my bachelor party. I watched a very attractive young girl dancing on a pole, giving me a seductive look. As she walked up to me, I realized it was my soon-to-be wife's younger sister. FML
by wellthisisawkward80 / 11/06/2011 at 1:15am / United States / Miscellaneous
by oink401 / 11/05/2011 at 11:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by Anonymous / 11/03/2011 at 3:29am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, I drove past a fragrant steakhouse and my mouth began to water and my stomach started rumbling, which would've been perfectly fine if it wasn't for the fact that I'm a vegan and an animal lover. My confused body craves burning flesh. FML
by loves the smell of burning flesh / 11/01/2011 at 9:22am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 11/01/2011 at 5:03am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/31/2011 at 8:36pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML
by VladyBoi / 10/31/2011 at 8:18pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/06/2011 at 1:04pm / United States / Transportation
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, my 12-year-old daughter is a Nirvana fan, while my 20-year-old son is a Justin Bieber fan.… Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, I’m a babysitter for a 4 year-old little girl. All afternoon, I attended Barbie’s murder and…