Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

maneatingants

Offline (the 01/02/2014 at 6:42pm) | Search for a member

maneatingants

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 93
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

maneatingants's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of maneatingants's badges

maneatingants's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML

#20936378
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27756) - you deserved it (41112)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:58am - love - by BaconLover - Japan

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

#20733192
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58094) - you deserved it (8151)

On 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

#19903690
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22058) - you deserved it (6228)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to, used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML

#19851648
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23634) - you deserved it (1658)

On 06/26/2012 at 5:10pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while running in the park, I noticed some ducks in a pond. I stopped to look at them and began quacking at them, to see if they would react. This would have been OK had I not been wearing ear-buds, blasting music, making me unable to realize just how loud I was quacking. With people all around. FML

#19449312
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7605) - you deserved it (31951)

On 04/11/2012 at 11:39am - animals - by Quackers (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend sang "happy birthday" to my vagina. It was my birthday last month and he forgot, but he remembered the date of the first time he went down on me. FML

#19113419
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30040) - you deserved it (4114)

On 02/19/2012 at 6:37am - intimacy - by me - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

#17619671
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39408) - you deserved it (5298)

On 08/30/2011 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

#17619671
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39408) - you deserved it (5298)

On 08/30/2011 at 7:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I learned that the "If I can't see you, you can't see me." rule is entirely false. Just because I can't initially see my creepy neighbor, doesn't mean he isn't watching me change my clothes through the blinds. FML

#17585991
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26387) - you deserved it (3427)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Peekaboo (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

#16956758
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35244) - you deserved it (3627)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:25am - animals - by jreed509 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized that my pubes are longer than my penis itself. FML

#16181302
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77036) - you deserved it (23647)

On 05/15/2011 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. My usually detached and unromantic boyfriend rushed right over after work with flowers and movies. A little while later, he admitted excitedly that he'd heard the numbing medication also works on gag reflexes and wanted to test the theory. FML

#15741479
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45456) - you deserved it (6509)

On 04/11/2011 at 3:27pm - intimacy - by Numb (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend forgot our anniversary. But it's okay; I wasn't expecting anything after he forgot my birthday, Valentine's Day, and my name. FML

#12409274
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37984) - you deserved it (26408)

On 08/09/2010 at 10:38am - love - by Forgotten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after puking all over the bathroom and my legs, I called my husband for sympathy. The first thing he says is "Did you cry?" and when I answered no, instead of wishing me better he quickly exclaimed "WHO'S MY BIG GIRL!" FML

#8923957
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20120) - you deserved it (6094)

On 03/08/2010 at 5:40pm - health - by gotitEVERYWHERE (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML

#7059042
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37932) - you deserved it (17656)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by pottypattypeepants (woman) - United States (Texas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: