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mandyk5918

Offline (the 10/18/2014 at 3:37pm) | Search for a member

mandyk5918

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 27 October 1996 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 330
  • Number of comments : 48
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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mandyk5918's page activity

Visits<b>amandam21</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 4:08pm<b>DHoang22</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 3:26am<b>FrankHotpants</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 8:00pm<b>JayBunny</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 9:41am<b>PCJJacket</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 10:34pm<b>bigboi1992</b> - the 05/06/2014 at 12:48pm<b>PsychoNyanCat</b> - the 12/03/2013 at 10:39pm<b>hendy34</b> - the 11/26/2013 at 9:17pm<b>Vnzlan_girl</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 1:27pm<b>mein_blut69</b> - the 11/05/2013 at 12:09pm<b>Jessica1239</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 10:09am<b>taylor27gang</b> - the 07/08/2013 at 12:06pm<b>FATTY_MCDOOGLE</b> - the 07/07/2013 at 11:27am<b>bobbyb13</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 9:02pm<b>pipefitter69</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 9:00pm<b>Hammer940</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 11:25am<b>woiz</b> - the 06/05/2013 at 6:10am<b>dfens</b> - the 05/30/2013 at 7:13am

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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mandyk5918's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35602) - you deserved it (3639)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML

#21263093
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40038) - you deserved it (4720)

On 09/22/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by mislead - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38819) - you deserved it (5549)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

#21261512
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35918) - you deserved it (3365)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I found out that my wife of 12 years has slept with the workmen we've had working on our long term building project. They call her the "quickie queen". FML

#21226819
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53847) - you deserved it (3649)

On 08/01/2014 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML

#21224521
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40775) - you deserved it (4651)

On 07/30/2014 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

#21224311
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34403) - you deserved it (5915)

On 07/29/2014 at 11:49pm - work - by dealtit - United States (Georgia)

Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year old woman, to tears. FML

#21190580
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41685) - you deserved it (7464)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by keelah (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, the girl who broke up with me and disappeared 6 years ago wished me a happy Father's Day. FML

#21176638
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50916) - you deserved it (5804)

On 06/16/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by IneedMaury (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at Sea World and was about to take a picture of the big walrus. I noticed my phone was still set to use the front camera, and I muttered "Oops, selfie mode." A guy next to me turned, looked at me, and said "Not like there's a difference for you." FML

#21175629
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50049) - you deserved it (8397)

On 06/15/2014 at 4:01pm - animals - by furball (woman) - (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I was spinning some yarn around to make my new cat run in circles. After about 10 seconds, he stopped going in circles and went straight ahead, happily running several feet into the wall and knocking himself out. My bowel movements have more brain-power than this thing. FML

#21168476
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34927) - you deserved it (8495)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:45pm - animals - by jaqen h'garrrhghhgfgjhfuck (man) - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43142) - you deserved it (6108)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the restroom to pee. A loud fart exploded out of my ass and echoed in the toilet bowl. I could practically feel my face on fire when I saw the horrified look on a little girl's face as I walked out. FML

#21166563
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43142) - you deserved it (6108)

On 06/07/2014 at 10:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was playing some soccer with my buddies, when a kid came over, yelled "CUP CHECK!" and nailed me in the nuts then ran away laughing. Millions of my unborn children died in agony. All his fatass mom did was chuckle nervously and pat her satan-spawn on the head. FML

#21166299
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47149) - you deserved it (4775)

On 06/07/2014 at 5:16pm - health - by wish his dad had worn one (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46413) - you deserved it (27779)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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