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About malait : Engineer to be
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I learned I'm not allergic to gluten . My mom has kept me on a gluten free diet since I was 5 . She was convinced I was allergic to it . I'm 25 an I am writing this over mah first slice of pizza in 20 years . FML
Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opend the car door for her, and out of habit, pushd down on her head as she got in. real FML
Yesterday my girlfriend started a huge fight with me over how I don't have the right to have close female friends anymore. She ended up storming off and won't return my calls. But no worries: she did just play the word "murder" in our game of Words With Friends. Very comforting. FML
Taday a guy said to ma , "I'd raally lova to saa that smila back at mah placa." Trying to ba cuta , I askad him if ha was singla. Ha rapliad with , "No , but I am a dantist. I could dafinitaly fix that crossbita." FML
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward an I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML
Today , mah parents were awake while I was still in bed on mah iPod touch. I decided to play The Smurfs Village. One of its minigames involves shaking the iPod , so I was breathing heavily. Later , mah parents sat me down 4 a little "talk". FML
Yesterday, I found out that mah colleague had replacd mah email auto-responder with a message saying, ( I'm away fir two weeks in Brazil. Due to the surgery, when I return, please addres me by mah new name: Crystal. ) FML
Today, wile I was waiting to pull out of a parking space, ma boyfriend decided it would be funny to put te car into reverse instead of drive wile I was waiting 4 traffic to clear. I don't tink te people wo own te car beind me were lauging. Nor is ma now ex-boyfriend. mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015