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malait

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3081
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About malait : Engineer to be

malait's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 10:11pm<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 6:25am<b>DeMamp</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 4:21am<b>taterrtots</b> - the 12/26/2015 at 3:00am<b>Naruffy</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:45am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 1:59am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 9:09pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 1:50am<b>the_only_spoon</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 1:17pm<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 4:34am<b>lannisters</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:55pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:59pm<b>spiers1</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:04am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 4:06pm<b>Somefruits</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:22am<b>faerieonacid</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 7:44pm<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 3:49am<b>rylaii</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 2:52am

Fucked!<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 1:25am<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:25pm

malait's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of malait's badges

malait's favorite FMLs

Today, after being stood up at a diner, I called the girl who was supposed to have met me. Turns out, she thought I was kidding when I asked her out. FML

#20893951
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45091) - you deserved it (3140)

On 09/24/2013 at 1:16am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59768) - you deserved it (29689)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I was talking to my husband about our favorite TV show, when he took my face in his hands and sweetly whispered, "You're so pretty. Why must you ruin it with words?" FML

#20880791
102 comments

Today, my daughter, who was born in late 2000, mentioned how amazing it is that she'll be alive during the year 3000. I asked her exactly how old she thinks she'll be by then. She said, "Thirty, duh." I've screwed up as a parent, so very badly. FML

#20823686
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61747) - you deserved it (15392)

On 08/06/2013 at 11:19am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was at another long swim-meet, when my daughter shaved 15 seconds off her record swim time. When I asked her how she did it, she replied, "Well someone told me to swim as fast as I can." She's just been taking her time all these years. FML

#20759731
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51515) - you deserved it (5408)

On 07/02/2013 at 12:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Vermont)

Today, I found out my old DVD player is jealous of my Blu-ray player. It fell from the top of my closet and hit me in the head. FML

#20747890
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37704) - you deserved it (7388)

On 06/26/2013 at 2:57am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I saw a man on my bike that was stolen a few years ago. I asked him if I could have my bike back just wondering what he'd say. He calmly replied, "Hell no, I stole this fair and square." FML

#20708788
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59741) - you deserved it (6337)

On 06/06/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I confessed to my girlfriend that I cheated on her. She told me that she needed time to think, and left. An hour later, her dad came by with a baseball bat. FML

#20691094
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28238) - you deserved it (141899)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my family flew out to surprise my grandma for her 70th birthday. When we arrived, she and my grandpa were both sitting on the couch, high, smoking a joint. FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52864) - you deserved it (11982)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a friend and I were walking around a festival when out of nowhere a giant bug hit me in the face. I went into instant ninja mode, screaming and flailing. When I stopped, I realized it was just a leaf and everyone was staring at me. FML

#20636386
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37710) - you deserved it (17257)

On 05/02/2013 at 2:29am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

#20618965
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52279) - you deserved it (29300)

On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, after an exhausting weekend of work, I decided to take a nap. I was awoken several hours later by my mother-in-law knocking on my door. Apparently my 11-year-old called up grandma to complain that she was hungry and that mum was sleeping instead of cooking dinner. FML

#20589609
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45197) - you deserved it (11384)

On 04/14/2013 at 5:58am - kids - by jasminejzhu (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34448) - you deserved it (6313)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my mom thought I was a lesbian because I dated a girl in high school. I didn't date anyone in high school. Apparently, guys never asked me out because my best friend told everyone that I was her girlfriend. I had a two-year lesbian relationship that I never knew about. FML

#20554170
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51075) - you deserved it (3418)

On 03/21/2013 at 8:35pm - love - by SmallAngel (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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