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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2976
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About malait : Engineer to be

malait's page activity

Visits<b>Naruffy</b> - the 09/01/2015 at 9:45am<b>dakatabg</b> - the 06/14/2015 at 1:59am<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 9:09pm<b>Shadowvoid</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 1:50am<b>the_only_spoon</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 1:17pm<b>ThatKidFromLA</b> - the 09/21/2014 at 4:34am<b>lannisters</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 7:55pm<b>Bulldozer36</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:59pm<b>spiers1</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 1:04am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 4:06pm<b>Somefruits</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 11:22am<b>faerieonacid</b> - the 06/01/2014 at 7:44pm<b>HumbleExistence</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 3:49am<b>rylaii</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 2:52am<b>okcnation</b> - the 05/21/2014 at 2:11am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 04/17/2014 at 4:42am<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 04/08/2014 at 10:53am<b>cocainewhore</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 5:10am

malait's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of malait's badges

malait's favorite FMLs

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49512) - you deserved it (6404)

On 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm - misc - by Jarool - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend suggested we try something new and spontaneous. Excited to find out first-hand what she had in mind, and ready to fool around, I hurried over to her place. Turns out she's just taken up vegan cooking. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36700) - you deserved it (6346)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:01pm - misc - by veggiedude - United States (California)

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46809) - you deserved it (10054)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49321) - you deserved it (9095)

On 03/15/2014 at 8:21am - kids - by emergencyroom (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49486) - you deserved it (7149)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, an American lady here in Ireland asked me if I was a Leprechaun. Thinking she was joking, and me being quite "vertically challenged," I decided to just say yes. She then grabbed me and made me endure photographs, cuddles and pats on the head from all her fellow tourists. FML


Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML


I agree, your life sucks (49732) - you deserved it (6979)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML


I agree, your life sucks (44228) - you deserved it (13545)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I noticed my laptop kept shutting down and the mouse cursor was all over the place, clicking on every folder. I dismantled the entire computer only to notice something in one of my USB drives: the receiver to a wireless mouse my colleague put there earlier to play a prank on me. 5ML


I agree, your life sucks (37468) - you deserved it (7941)

On 01/24/2014 at 2:16am - work - by Kenny (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)

Today, school was out because of snow. My dad walked in my room and shouted "Why are you home?!" I told him why, and he replied, "Then get out the damn house and play in the snow." He tossed me out in nothing but my shorts. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39756) - you deserved it (4959)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

Today, after being stood up at a diner, I called the girl who was supposed to have met me. Turns out, she thought I was kidding when I asked her out. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44617) - you deserved it (3113)

On 09/24/2013 at 1:16am - love - by Anonymous -

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  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

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