malait

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malait

18Fucked!

malaitmalait
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4168
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About malait : Dive instructor and law student, but my true talent is netflixing

malait's page activity

Visits<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 5:06am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 1:42pm<b>HeatTransferFlow</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 7:16pm<b>roock87</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 5:37pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 4:36pm<b>clara_cl</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 8:12pm<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 4:24pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 9:33am<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 5:03pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 12:25pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 8:56pm<b>ozzytiff</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 8:46pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 11:41pm<b>billboob</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:29pm<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:20pm<b>sophie0908</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 6:05am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 12:13am<b>1802ben</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 12:05am

Fucked!<b>stryder9090</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 3:33pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 9:30am<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 5:42am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:08am<b>newzealand</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:05pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:04pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 4:40am<b>billboob</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 2:47am<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 2:01am<b>914smv</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 6:41am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 6:32pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 5:51pm<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 12:10pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 7:39am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 10:44pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:58pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 1:25am<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:25pm

malait's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of malait's badges

malait's favorite FMLs

Today, the left side of my head has officially declared its independence. Half of my hair is now curly, the rest is totally flat. FML

by anonyme / 07/30/2014 at 2:51am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

by and god shat / 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm / United States (Oregon) / Animals

Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

by Anonymous / 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

by stopinthenameoflove / 06/19/2014 at 10:37am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, I only just found out that the abbreviation "lbs" is actually short for pounds. I've been saying "labs" my entire life. I'm 21. FML

by shtidsfpa / 06/18/2014 at 5:06pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband reorganized our fridge for the World Cup. He cleared everything out and filled it with beer and chips. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2014 at 1:02am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend bought yet another video game and played it all afternoon. Unlike me, our parrot is taking this situation rather well: for the past two hours he's been repeating, over and over, "EA Sports, it's in the game." FML

by Apcn / 06/05/2014 at 4:05pm / France (Bretagne) / Animals

Today, I was partying with friends. At around midnight, I sent a text message to my friend to reassure her, saying that of course I could handle my drink. That's the last thing I can remember about the evening. It's a total blank from that point onwards. FML

by julie24 / 05/29/2014 at 10:30pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife got all excited when she saw the elevator we were in had a feature to make it go sideways. I didn't have the heart to tell her they were the buttons to open and close the door. FML

by Jarool / 05/12/2014 at 3:41pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend suggested we try something new and spontaneous. Excited to find out first-hand what she had in mind, and ready to fool around, I hurried over to her place. Turns out she's just taken up vegan cooking. FML

by veggiedude / 05/07/2014 at 11:01pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML

by Spooprfailed / 04/08/2014 at 1:32am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

by cat whisperer / 03/20/2014 at 12:31am / United States / Animals

Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML

by emergencyroom / 03/15/2014 at 8:21am / United States (Maryland) / Kids

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML

by Anonymous / 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous