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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4023
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About malait : Dive instructor and law student, but my true talent is netflixing

malait's page activity

Visits<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 5:06am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/23/2016 at 1:42pm<b>HeatTransferFlow</b> - the 09/19/2016 at 7:16pm<b>roock87</b> - the 09/02/2016 at 5:37pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/24/2016 at 4:36pm<b>clara_cl</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 8:12pm<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 4:24pm<b>stryder9090</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 9:33am<b>SpartyOnWayne</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 5:03pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 12:25pm<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 8:56pm<b>ozzytiff</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 8:46pm<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 11:41pm<b>billboob</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:29pm<b>JadeOmega</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:20pm<b>sophie0908</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 6:05am<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 12:13am<b>1802ben</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 12:05am

Fucked!<b>stryder9090</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 3:33pm<b>doubledutchy</b> - the 08/16/2016 at 9:30am<b>Capriciousfox</b> - the 08/10/2016 at 5:42am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/09/2016 at 2:08am<b>newzealand</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:05pm<b>Mons</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 12:04pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 4:40am<b>billboob</b> - the 08/04/2016 at 2:47am<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 03/12/2016 at 2:01am<b>914smv</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 6:41am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 6:32pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 02/21/2016 at 5:51pm<b>moocowmilk0</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 12:10pm<b>tranced_</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 7:39am<b>Y0UI34574RD</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 10:44pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 9:58pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 1:25am<b>Kamorka</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:25pm

malait's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.


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See all of malait's badges

malait's favorite FMLs

Today, I felt a painful lump on my jaw. After going on Google, I was convinced I either had an infected tooth or jaw cancer. In a panic, I rushed to the dentist and told the receptionist the problem. She pulled the dentist from an appointment, and he felt around my jaw. It was just a pimple. FML

by not a cancerous pimple / 01/30/2015 at 7:11pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

by xoragebaby / 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, after the longest time, I went to the gym. I ran and ran and ran on the treadmill for an eternity, beating myself up for getting so overweight. Then I tripped and fell off, sweating and sobbing for being so useless. When I looked up, I saw I'd been on the machine for barely 2 minutes. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2015 at 11:34am / Ireland / Health

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML

by ring-a-ding-ding / 12/06/2014 at 12:18am / United States (Nevada) / Work

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

by tine / 11/16/2014 at 4:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

by tine / 11/16/2014 at 4:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I realized why I never hear my voice echoing when I sing to my boyfriend on Skype; he just mutes me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2014 at 4:50pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I'm horribly out of shape. My arms are sore, almost like I'd been doing heavy lifting yesterday. Nope. It just was from squeezing cupcake icing out of a tube. FML

by RyoKioKio / 10/24/2014 at 3:26pm / United States (Washington) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

by MegasaurusRex89 / 10/17/2014 at 8:04pm / United States (California) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my son was smart enough to hack the school's computers to change his midterm, but isn't smart enough to actually keep his grades up. FML

by thenegatives / 10/08/2014 at 9:12pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, my brother got the same cologne as the guy I've been seeing for a while. Every time I'm with my brother I think about him, and every time I'm with him I think about my brother. FML

by Anonymous / 09/17/2014 at 7:46am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm / United States (Kansas) / Work

Today, the left side of my head has officially declared its independence. Half of my hair is now curly, the rest is totally flat. FML

by anonyme / 07/30/2014 at 2:51am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous