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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was at a pie auction. During it, I had to hold a pie in a glass case to be sold. In the middle of the auction, I raised my hand to scratch my face, and dropped the pie and broke the glass. It was worth $1000. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16419) - you deserved it (7769)
On 09/10/2011 at 9:18pm - money - by calebeutsler - United States (Texas)
Today, my daughter turned Emo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15679) - you deserved it (4911)
On 09/01/2011 at 11:44pm - kids - by nyaahaha - United States
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23110) - you deserved it (33648)
On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States
Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26236) - you deserved it (1664)
On 08/25/2011 at 1:26am - intimacy - by InAnAwkwardSituation - United States (New York)
Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28559) - you deserved it (2194)
On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)
Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6599) - you deserved it (29934)
On 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by Kendal - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I asked my two children why they smelled like pee after we had gotten lunch at McDonald's. They told me that they were playing in the puddles in the play-place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27366) - you deserved it (3027)
On 08/23/2011 at 11:55am - kids - by Username - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21821) - you deserved it (3847)
On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States
Today, I went into a public bathroom and walked in on a guy checking his butt out in the mirror to see if he'd wiped properly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23648) - you deserved it (1645)
On 08/21/2011 at 8:03pm - misc - by Bobby ray slice - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I realized burying my dog underneath our swing-set was a bad idea. My two sons are now scarred for life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5955) - you deserved it (29707)
On 08/04/2011 at 6:19am - kids - by Bobsaget00 (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute. Twice. While in my work uniform. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28289) - you deserved it (5764)
On 06/07/2011 at 8:13pm - work - by Bee (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend and I went shooting. While I was showing him how to properly hold and adjust a rifle, he accidentally pulled the trigger. The gun kicked back and hit me in the face, breaking my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24348) - you deserved it (7267)
On 06/02/2011 at 1:32pm - health - by raebelle - United States
Today, my mom and I had an argument about my laziness. We did this as I was eating uncooked rice because I didn't want to have to walk to the kitchen and put it into the microwave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5136) - you deserved it (50991)
On 05/09/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by wtfseriously (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33100) - you deserved it (2411)
On 03/12/2011 at 12:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
I agree, your life sucks (26111) - you deserved it (5901)
On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
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