maddougie

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Offline (the 12/31/2014 at 2:51pm)

maddougie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 April 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2741
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About maddougie : Its summer, lets party.

maddougie's page activity

Visits<b>turtles4life</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 6:59am<b>FrecklesXO</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 2:00am<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 10/06/2013 at 5:42pm<b>mega20913</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 5:18am<b>WtfLoser</b> - the 12/13/2012 at 11:49am<b>AnnaGoesRawrx3</b> - the 09/02/2012 at 2:54pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 06/22/2012 at 6:38pm<b>isis_morrigan</b> - the 06/21/2012 at 10:05pm<b>OhHeySara</b> - the 06/18/2012 at 7:08pm<b>romi2212</b> - the 05/24/2012 at 5:14pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 05/23/2012 at 7:05pm<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 01/04/2012 at 1:05am<b>thekewlest69</b> - the 10/07/2011 at 12:09am<b>FlexSwag</b> - the 09/25/2011 at 9:33pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 09/17/2011 at 1:48pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:04pm<b>mgsoloist</b> - the 09/02/2011 at 1:03pm<b>fthislyfe</b> - the 08/26/2011 at 8:12pm

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maddougie's favorite FMLs

Today, I sprayed down some ants in my house. In the sea of ant corpses was a single living ant seemingly cradling a dead one in its arms. I'm convinced I just became the villain in an epic tragedy. Now I have to live with my ant problem because I can't bear to tear another family apart. FML

by Blood on my hands / 08/07/2013 at 1:40am / United States / Animals

Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML

by Anonymous / 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at a music festival, watching one of my favorite bands. The security guys were throwing water into the crowd to cool us down. I saw some about to be thrown by another fan, so I stood with my mouth open to catch some of it. I ended up with a face full of hot piss. FML

by Anonymous / 09/02/2011 at 9:45am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is extremely jealous of a stuffed toy that sits on my bed, all because it gets to 'sleep in the same bed as me and he doesn't.' Now, whenever he comes over, he throws it at the wall, death glares at it, then gets up and kicks it under my bed. FML

by holdengurl18 / 06/21/2011 at 12:46am / China / Love

Today, I saw my brother on TV after 3 years of no contact. He was being arrested on Cops. FML

by Sarah / 06/11/2011 at 8:54pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML

by stepsister / 06/10/2011 at 1:17am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML

by fuck / 06/02/2011 at 2:43pm / United States / Kids

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

by meyo555 / 06/02/2011 at 5:45am / United States (Nebraska) / Health

Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML

by chickennbenchpress / 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, when I weighed myself on my scale, it broke. FML

by trev / 05/30/2011 at 12:12pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Health

Today, I told my kids that our family dog was getting too fat and we should give him a little less food. My youngest daughter whispered to her sister, "Mommy's fat and we still give her food." FML

by Fatty1970 / 05/22/2011 at 9:33pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

by Bobby M / 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm / Ireland (Carlow) / Health

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

by eenkoekje / 05/13/2011 at 3:20am / Kids

Today, I witnessed two women in a catfight, ripping clothes off each other. This would have been great if the two women weren't my mom and my grandma. FML

by Danny / 04/25/2011 at 9:07am / Miscellaneous