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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25985) - you deserved it (5121)
On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)
Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7509) - you deserved it (28095)
On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I went to the hospital in labor expecting a baby boy. I ended the day with identical twins, a baffled doctor, and a husband convinced that our sons can clone themselves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18354) - you deserved it (1551)
On 10/29/2012 at 9:30pm - kids - by CutestBoysEver (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (18837) - you deserved it (10826)
On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19979) - you deserved it (14317)
On 07/17/2011 at 4:43am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (28661) - you deserved it (5800)
On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She was so happy that she began flapping her hands around and screaming. She was flapping her hands so hard she smacked herself in the face and started crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29840) - you deserved it (5020)
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28596) - you deserved it (6420)
On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, while at my job at a Christian summer camp, I overheard one of the kids swearing. I politely said, "Please, only speak as Jesus would." He paused for a moment and replied, "Go to hell." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15745) - you deserved it (41129)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:14pm - work - by sbutler (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24557) - you deserved it (1657)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria
Today, the whole family came together to celebrate my grandmother's 80th birthday. My grandfather read a poem he'd written about how he had taken my grandmother's virginity 60 years ago. It went on for about 30 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24557) - you deserved it (1657)
On 07/14/2011 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Austria
Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18550) - you deserved it (1618)
On 07/14/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by BelleCharmante (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my parents think that I don't realize all the sexual euphemisms in their conversations. One of the more recent ones being made by my dad at the dinner table: "This sausage is great, honey, but mine is bigger and tastier!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35941) - you deserved it (2700)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:16pm - intimacy - by wittlegirl - United States (California)
Today, I awoke to banging at my door. It was my neighbor, accusing me of stealing her mail to spy on her, because apparently she thinks I must be some sort of secret agent. The cops don't believe me when I call, and she won't go away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22426) - you deserved it (1758)
On 07/13/2011 at 12:26pm - misc - by MIB (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I had to bail my dad out of jail, for beating up my boyfriend, for sleeping with my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (105014) - you deserved it (5803)
On 07/13/2011 at 2:32am - intimacy - by whyme102008 - United States (Texas)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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