machiavelli2

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machiavelli2

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 October 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 391
  • Number of comments : 21
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About machiavelli2 : a simple engineer.

machiavelli2's page activity

Visits<b>Dalboz</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 4:02pm<b>vb68</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 2:02am<b>10220706</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 5:18am<b>Azail</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 12:24pm<b>allie2590</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 2:52pm<b>buckydargon</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 1:23pm<b>KidBro</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 6:14pm<b>pikawarriors</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 10:22pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/28/2014 at 2:51pm<b>billionair11</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 10:36pm<b>AstronautCreeper</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 10:40pm<b>Allthatiam</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 3:06am<b>goldenturtlez</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 5:48pm<b>georgemac</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 3:04am<b>lucilu89</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 4:58am<b>grogers311</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 11:55am<b>eusue</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 5:53pm<b>NinjaPegasus</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 1:50am

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machiavelli2's favorite FMLs

Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML

by Luke / 03/19/2013 at 5:59am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, as always, I'm dating one of the few girls who, without fail, always finishes first when we get intimate. She's also one of those girlfriends who doesn't want to continue once she's done. FML

by WhyDoINeedAName / 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

by JimiHendrix / 02/28/2013 at 8:55pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Health

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

by Frostbitten / 02/26/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, a guy I went on one date with asked me out again via text. Being honest, I texted back, politely saying that he was a good guy but I wasn't really interested. He came over to my house, screaming about how awful I was for "text message breaking up with him" and then cracked my windshield. FML

by fuckedover / 02/26/2013 at 11:43am / United States / Love

Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML

by cls_x / 02/24/2013 at 2:53am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's office while she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulled the pen out during a meeting. My colleague looked at me, horrified. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazoned on it. I'm a man. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2013 at 8:43am / United States (Idaho) / Miscellaneous

Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 6:00pm / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Love

Today, I went to the market to buy some groceries. Before I got even half-way home, a guy stormed toward me, pulled what looked like a knife, and chased me around the block while screaming that he'd kill me for sleeping with his wife. Nope, still a 15-year-old virgin here. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 4:50pm / Saudi Arabia (Ash Sharqiyah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

by Anonymous / 02/14/2013 at 3:23pm / Germany / Love

Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML

by please leave... / 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, a cute girl asked if my dog was available for a date on Valentine's Day. Thinking I was in luck, I asked if I should come along. She said no. My dog has better game than I do. FML

by Doggotmytongue / 02/12/2013 at 4:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML

by Anonymous / 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous