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m311

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m311

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  • Number of visits : 1547
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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m311's page activity

Visits<b>sanghera43</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 7:22pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 12:40am<b>flametrafox</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 9:15am<b>SilverWings312</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 10:11pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 1:17pm<b>Hello9875</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 3:51pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 1:39pm<b>julako</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 5:54pm<b>ScareCrowed</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 3:49pm<b>Mr_Bleepdabloop</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 8:52pm<b>skittycat213</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 1:20pm<b>lambofgodrules</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 11:32pm<b>Peeves</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 7:30am<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 06/30/2013 at 1:52am<b>Budderchook</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 5:16pm<b>ignoremeimweird</b> - the 01/09/2013 at 1:24pm<b>sleepindevil</b> - the 11/16/2011 at 1:27am<b>LOLSMILEYFACE331</b> - the 11/06/2010 at 12:10am

m311's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of m311's badges

m311's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I'm already a clumsy person but became extra clumsy because I was nervous. After knocking over my drink for the fourth time, my boyfriend's mom angrily shouted "Did you actually come drunk for the first time meeting us?" FML

#778324
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64423) - you deserved it (8573)

On 04/03/2009 at 2:10am - misc - by herANDi - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

#719955
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68938) - you deserved it (4365)

On 03/31/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by Krissy. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

#677461
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (102189) - you deserved it (22307)

On 03/29/2009 at 10:03am - love - by engaged (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

Today, my friends decided that I eat too many snacks. To emphasize this point, they went behind my back and printed 300 pages with my face and the words "NO SNACKS" on them. They were posted in every academic building on campus, including every room I have class in. FML

#594482
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65705) - you deserved it (9681)

On 03/25/2009 at 1:45am - misc - by face (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing he replied "well I was looking for your boobs but apparently you have none" FML

#544318
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94332) - you deserved it (8205)

On 03/22/2009 at 11:18pm - intimacy - by tinytitty (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my friend and i thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML

#508489
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49988) - you deserved it (34342)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:11pm - misc - by emilyxoxoxo - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
877 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60126) - you deserved it (628348)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

#438513
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71984) - you deserved it (28267)

On 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by bluten (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was working my job as the person who checks people in at the gym. A sweaty chubby woman came up to me complaining about how our staff seems so fit. I replied with "we like to hire people who have bodies that motivate our clients!" She gave a blank stare, then said "so how did you get the job?" FML

#333597
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54459) - you deserved it (13686)

On 03/15/2009 at 12:32am - work - by Bubbah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML

#318260
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25380) - you deserved it (60414)

On 03/14/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by skc (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML

#290842
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64044) - you deserved it (6843)

On 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by tomtomcutiepoof (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML

#133313
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27944) - you deserved it (40067)

On 02/25/2009 at 2:05pm - misc - by Joe (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML

#120277
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62719) - you deserved it (7147)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by LilShawty2000 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, as I sat on my couch heartbroken from a very recent breakup, my mother walked up to me and in a very comforting voice said, "maybe he left you for someone else." FML

#45956
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40770) - you deserved it (1996)

On 02/15/2009 at 6:51am - misc - by too bad so sad (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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