m311

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m311

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2712
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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m311's page activity

Visits<b>lucylifts</b> - the 08/22/2016 at 2:05pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 05/13/2016 at 2:33pm<b>nishimehta</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 4:59am<b>Kitten_love</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 2:59pm<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:54am<b>One_Way</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 11:27pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 12:20am<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 6:06pm<b>sanghera43</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 7:22pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 12:40am<b>flametrafox</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 9:15am<b>SilverWings312</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 10:11pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 1:17pm<b>Hello9875</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 3:51pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 1:39pm<b>julako</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 5:54pm<b>ScareCrowed</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 3:49pm<b>Mr_Bleepdabloop</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 8:52pm

Fucked!<b>nishimehta</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 11:00am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 6:20am

m311's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of m311's badges

m311's favorite FMLs

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I'm already a clumsy person but became extra clumsy because I was nervous. After knocking over my drink for the fourth time, my boyfriend's mom angrily shouted "Did you actually come drunk for the first time meeting us?" FML

by herANDi / 04/03/2009 at 2:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

by Krissy. / 03/31/2009 at 3:04am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend in the food court at the mall. When she said "yes", the entire food court broke out in applause, and my girlfriend and I were escorted out of the mall for "starting a riot". I never knew clapping was a crime. FML

by engaged / 03/29/2009 at 10:03am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I was texting two people at once. Trying to respond to my friend's text, I accidentally clicked on this guy's name instead, who I've never met. He just told me about his grandma's funeral he went to that was an open casket. I responded with, "Haha wow you slut, I'm sure you were aroused." FML

by ohhotdamn / 03/25/2009 at 10:48pm / United States (Kansas) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my friends decided that I eat too many snacks. To emphasize this point, they went behind my back and printed 300 pages with my face and the words "NO SNACKS" on them. They were posted in every academic building on campus, including every room I have class in. FML

by face / 03/25/2009 at 1:45am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my crush and I were hooking up and as he slipped his hands up my shirt in order to "feel me up" he started rubbing around my whole torso. When I asked him what he was doing he replied "well I was looking for your boobs but apparently you have none" FML

by tinytitty / 03/22/2009 at 11:18pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my friend and i thought it would be funny if we could both fit into her big sweatpants. When we tried to take a step, she fell on top of me. She started peeing uncontrollably. We had to cut ourselves out of the sweatpants. FML

by emilyxoxoxo / 03/21/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 12:46am / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I was watching this TV show where a man was describing how much he loved this woman, how he made every opportunity to see her, and how he loved her in a way nobody else could. I smiled, because that's exactly the way I feel about my crush. Then I realized the program was about stalkers. FML

by bluten / 03/18/2009 at 12:42pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was working my job as the person who checks people in at the gym. A sweaty chubby woman came up to me complaining about how our staff seems so fit. I replied with "we like to hire people who have bodies that motivate our clients!" She gave a blank stare, then said "so how did you get the job?" FML

by Bubbah / 03/15/2009 at 12:32am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I gave myself a facial with one of those masks you leave on for a while. I busied myself by tidying my room while it dried and eventually forgot all about it. I finally remembered about it after I answered the door to the postman. Not embarassing enough? I'm a guy. FML

by skc / 03/14/2009 at 7:36am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my best friend set me up on a blind date with someone he said was very hot. I'm not exactly what you call fit, so I haven't been dating lately. As soon as I got to the restaurant, I spotted the girl. She looked me up and down, said, "You have GOT to be kidding me" and left. FML

by tomtomcutiepoof / 03/12/2009 at 8:38pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I had the cops called on me because I accidentally texted "I'm going to kill you and use your head as hood ornament" to my ex-fiancé, instead of my best friend. I only texted that because he got a better grade on an exam than me. Now I have a court date. FML

by Joe / 02/25/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML

by LilShawty2000 / 02/24/2009 at 12:30am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, as I sat on my couch heartbroken from a very recent breakup, my mother walked up to me and in a very comforting voice said, "maybe he left you for someone else." FML

by too bad so sad / 02/15/2009 at 6:51am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous