m311

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m311

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2379
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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m311's page activity

Visits<b>nishimehta</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 4:59am<b>Kitten_love</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 2:59pm<b>MrsWinchester</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:54am<b>One_Way</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 11:27pm<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 12:20am<b>agustibaarn</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 6:06pm<b>sanghera43</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 7:22pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 12:40am<b>flametrafox</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 9:15am<b>SilverWings312</b> - the 04/27/2014 at 10:11pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 03/17/2014 at 1:17pm<b>Hello9875</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 3:51pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 1:39pm<b>julako</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 5:54pm<b>ScareCrowed</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 3:49pm<b>Mr_Bleepdabloop</b> - the 10/31/2013 at 8:52pm<b>skittycat213</b> - the 09/20/2013 at 1:20pm<b>lambofgodrules</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 11:32pm

Fucked!<b>nishimehta</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 11:00am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 6:20am

m311's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of m311's badges

m311's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm travelling to England for an important meeting. I'm Norwegian, and my name is Bård. I have to introduce myself as bored the whole day, because that's how my name is pronounced. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2009 at 7:10am / Norway (Rogaland) / Work

Today, I woke up and looked in the mirror and noticed that my face was covered in glitter. I asked my wife about it and she said she put it on me while I was sleeping so that I would sparkle like Edward from Twilight when I'm in the sunlight. FML

by IB6UB9 / 11/28/2009 at 12:32pm / United States / Love

Today, I was turned down for a job as a cashier at Best Buy. I worked like hell to get into and then graduate from one of the top Telecommunication schools in the country. I spent all my time with extracurriculars to help my resume instead of partying like my friends. I can't even be a cashier. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, I volunteered to be Auctioned off for Charity. I went for $3. FML

by LC / 11/03/2009 at 2:06am / United States (Michigan) / Money

Today, it's Saturday night, and also Halloween. Instead of going out, I'm sitting at home on MSN telling everyone who asks me what I'm doing tonight that I'm 'going out in 10 minutes to a party', then when 10 minutes pass, I block them. FML

by pathetic / 10/31/2009 at 6:08am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. I started tearing up and telling him that I feel like he never has time for me anymore. He responded with, "I'm hungry." FML

by hanzastfu / 10/26/2009 at 1:25pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend of over a year broke up with me. Completely crushed, I spent an hour gathering up everything he ever gave me. Then he calls back to say how stupid he was and how he wanted me back. I was ecstatic. An hour later he figured out he was okay with his first decision. FML

by rollercoaster / 10/25/2009 at 3:19pm / United States (Nevada) / Love

Today, I went to a 'haunted' theme park, actors had been trying to scare me the whole night. I was waiting by an outdoor heater for my friend when a hand came out of nowhere close to my face. I screamed at the top of my lungs, but it was only some chick wanting to warm her hands by the heater. FML

by mack / 10/25/2009 at 4:54am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took a smoke break at work and I noticed a huge zit on my face. I used the reflection from a window to take care of the problem and then realized that there was a staff meeting taking place on the other side. FML

by JC / 10/22/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while walking in the mall, I spotted my ex boyfriend with his friends. To make myself look less lonely, I put my iPhone up to my ear and started an imaginary conversation with my invisible boyfriend. As I passed him, my phone started ringing loudly. It was him calling. He knew I was faking. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2009 at 9:34pm / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/05/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend brought me to his place to meet his parents. When they saw me, they laughed. FML

by omfgmaya / 10/05/2009 at 1:29pm / Denmark (Vestsjalland) / Miscellaneous

Today, while emailing my very young, attractive teacher to ask a question, my hand slipped. Too bad you can't unsend emails that say "Can we meet after school some time? I have some thongs I'd like to discuss with you." FML

by Anonymous / 08/31/2009 at 4:38pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

by bubbalicious / 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, my mom was gifted with a toiletry basket. I grabbed the lotion and used it without asking. When I went out, it began raining hard. I got wet and noticed my skin got very sticky. Turns out the lotion was actually body wash. People were wondering why soap bubbles were coming from my skin. FML

by soapgirl / 08/13/2009 at 12:07pm / Philippines (Pampanga) / Miscellaneous