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m311

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m311
  • Town/Country : Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1235
  • Number of comments : 38
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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m311's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of m311's badges

m311's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML

#13588897
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8855) - you deserved it (58766)

On 10/25/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by leve80paladin (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I babysat my neighbour's spoilt bratty twins. When I told them it was their bed time, they pushed me over. One then started smashing me with a plastic sword, and as I lay helpless on the floor the other one peed on me. I got owned by two five year olds. FML

#13587317
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14112) - you deserved it (20670)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:06am - misc - by peestain (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my boyfriend said he wants a Hello Kitty wedding. FML

#13559273
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35164) - you deserved it (8331)

On 10/23/2010 at 5:07am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML

#13088642
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8805) - you deserved it (29307)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by ellinor (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has been asked by multiple people "why he is going out with such an ugly girl." FML

#12815819
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28167) - you deserved it (3404)

On 08/30/2010 at 1:35am - love - by hjufidskndf - United States

Today, a customer came into the music shop I work in to look at guitars. After calling the customer "Dude," and "Man," numerous times, they stalked off suddenly. When I asked if everything was okay, they responded with, "I'm female, you asshole!" FML

#10044709
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8847) - you deserved it (28367)

On 04/21/2010 at 4:29pm - work - by Z88 - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, after years of thinking I was weird for never being attracted to anyone, I realized that for the first time in my life I actually have a crush on someone. That 'someone' is my English teacher. He is 60. I am 18. FML

#9127097
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25989) - you deserved it (11307)

On 03/16/2010 at 6:27am - misc - by allwrong (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were out shopping. As he was trying on shirts, I told him that the particular shirt he was wearing looked ugly. He turned around, sighed, and said "You think? Well, your face is ugly, but you don't see me complaining about it." He was serious. FML

#8223058
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23895) - you deserved it (8745)

On 02/13/2010 at 9:19pm - love - by AnnaNick (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend had replaced our picture in her locket for a picture of Taylor Lautner shirtless. FML

#7724225
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28960) - you deserved it (5185)

On 01/30/2010 at 10:20pm - love - by Twilightsux (man) - United States

Today, I talked to my ex on AIM after not speaking to her since we broke up two years ago. The conversation lead up to her asking how I feel about her. So I poured my heart and soul out to her, because I still love her. She immediately logged off. FML

#7470766
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12675) - you deserved it (24777)

On 01/21/2010 at 8:10am - love - by JCruz411 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had the sudden urge to sneeze as I was wiping my ass. Out of instinct, I used my hand to cover my mouth. I never let go of the toilet paper. FML

#7217520
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23929) - you deserved it (30642)

On 01/08/2010 at 1:48pm - misc - by Hugh_Jankles (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML

#6852058
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11489) - you deserved it (24419)

On 12/20/2009 at 7:26pm - love - by embarrassed (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

#6778697
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37211) - you deserved it (2919)

On 12/16/2009 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I fainted and woke up in a hospital. My mom drove me to the emergency room. The doctor said I had a panic attack. What did I have a panic attack from? Bidding on ebay. FML

#6713073
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9054) - you deserved it (25275)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by graospe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

#6665165
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14520) - you deserved it (3188)

On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)



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