Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lvlcapblue

Search for a member

lvlcapblue

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1128
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

lvlcapblue's page activity

Visits<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 12:24pm<b>I_Am_Melanie</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:53pm<b>CougeeSwagg</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 9:46am<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 7:01pm<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 6:52pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:52pm<b>jonjonguapito</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 3:34pm<b>tigerfish</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 9:23pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 7:43am<b>camsaltysquares</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 4:28am<b>jaysinlove</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 11:06am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 2:09am<b>wopchop12</b> - the 11/07/2013 at 11:05pm<b>WiseGirl98</b> - the 08/17/2013 at 12:42am<b>banemask</b> - the 08/16/2013 at 1:34am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 10:50pm<b>thadius_the_red</b> - the 07/26/2013 at 10:55am<b>shaelynn2013</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 7:08pm

lvlcapblue's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

lvlcapblue's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it that much!" FML

#17392866
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39100) - you deserved it (3937)

On 08/07/2011 at 12:40am - misc - by Taylor D - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was sitting in the hospital waiting area. An old lady was crying, and my five year old daughter asked her, "Are you okay?" The woman quietly nodded, prompting my daughter to scream at the top of her lungs, "Well shut up then!" FML

#17391065
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35042) - you deserved it (10002)

On 08/06/2011 at 9:40pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend freaked out on me because I answered her call on the first ring. According to her, it implies that I'm desperate, always horny, and just want her for the sex. Just last week she got pissed because I waited three rings to answer. Apparently that means I'm cheating on her. FML

#17390536
447 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41097) - you deserved it (5960)

On 08/06/2011 at 8:27pm - love - by FML! - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a complaint from my neighbor about a little girl staring at her through my guest bedroom window for the past month. I live alone. And now I'm scared to live in my own house. FML

#17349963
376 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53234) - you deserved it (3274)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:04am - misc - by soccerbuddyz - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was taking the bus home, I sat down next to a man wearing an FML shirt. While snickering I said to him "You totally deserved it." I guess he thought that comment deserved a broken nose. FML

#17306841
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18529) - you deserved it (75091)

On 07/30/2011 at 5:26am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while walking home from work, a young teenage girl ran up behind me and dumped a carton of milk on my head. She said, "The cow master baptizes you!" and then ran in the opposite direction, cackling madly. FML

#17301663
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33585) - you deserved it (3653)

On 07/29/2011 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was in a restroom sitting on the toilet, when the guy right next to me noticed my AC/DC boxers around my ankles and started to sing "Back in Black." FML

#17296721
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24808) - you deserved it (9527)

On 07/29/2011 at 10:27am - misc - by sofargone420 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

#17145702
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34559) - you deserved it (7585)

On 07/17/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by douglas - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up to my pants off and my vibrator still on. I fell asleep masturbating. FML

#17080549
528 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20284) - you deserved it (52311)

On 07/12/2011 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by 44haley44 - United States

Today, my 16 year-old daughter tried to convince me that tampons don't actually work, all because she can still pee with one in. FML

#17069716
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31901) - you deserved it (5181)

On 07/11/2011 at 6:23pm - misc - by Username - United States (Washington)

Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML

#17058882
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30286) - you deserved it (12413)

On 07/10/2011 at 10:34pm - health - by muffintop (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was invited into a group chat on Skype. Everyone ignored everything I said, so I got pissed and started yelling at them. Then I realised my microphone wasn't plugged in right. FML

#17055624
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8756) - you deserved it (51666)

On 07/10/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Canuckster (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was invited into a group chat on Skype. Everyone ignored everything I said, so I got pissed and started yelling at them. Then I realised my microphone wasn't plugged in right. FML

#17055624
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8756) - you deserved it (51666)

On 07/10/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Canuckster (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was supposed to have a double date. My date didn't show. I spent my day in the living room waiting for the pizza guy while my best friend and her boyfriend made out. The pizza guy never showed either. FML

#17036855
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32777) - you deserved it (2637)

On 07/09/2011 at 1:55am - misc - by supergingerr11 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

#17023204
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36029) - you deserved it (4348)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:23am - misc - by Yoda (woman) - United States (New York)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: