lvlcapblue

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lvlcapblue

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2773
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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lvlcapblue's page activity

Visits<b>DerSuldam</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 5:00pm<b>Oh_Bob_Saget</b> - the 11/14/2015 at 10:54pm<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 9:50pm<b>3051628</b> - the 04/02/2015 at 10:52am<b>Random4Dayz</b> - the 02/22/2015 at 10:41pm<b>jordanmicheala</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 11:31pm<b>kerstileann</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 3:57am<b>drureos</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 7:53pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 12:24pm<b>I_Am_Melanie</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 10:53pm<b>CougeeSwagg</b> - the 07/24/2014 at 9:46am<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 07/03/2014 at 7:01pm<b>markcallanan_</b> - the 06/27/2014 at 6:52pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 2:52pm<b>jonjonguapito</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 3:34pm<b>tigerfish</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 9:23pm<b>Demonking</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 7:43am<b>camsaltysquares</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 4:28am

lvlcapblue's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

lvlcapblue's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

by Patricia / 10/01/2011 at 7:30pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I used a public restroom with very shiny floors. So shiny, in fact, that I could see a clear reflection of the person in the next stall. I'm pretty sure they could see me too. FML

by anonymous / 10/01/2011 at 10:18am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

by Sabraynay / 09/28/2011 at 2:47am / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

by BigBananaLover / 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML

by Anonymous / 09/23/2011 at 6:41am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML

by mortenp / 09/22/2011 at 12:44am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2011 at 10:39am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

by awesomekidsmum / 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I got pulled over for distracted driving. Not for cell phone use but for nose picking and inspecting. FML

by jj4320 / 09/17/2011 at 4:37am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I finally told my crush that I like her. She said she could never date me, because apparently, "My best friend likes you." Her best friend is my step-sister. FML

by messed up / 09/16/2011 at 5:10pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

by Anonymous / 09/16/2011 at 1:26pm / United States / Miscellaneous