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lvlcapblue

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lvlcapblue
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 772
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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lvlcapblue's favorite FMLs

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

#17880810
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36272) - you deserved it (4727)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Patricia - United States (Texas)

Today, I used a public restroom with very shiny floors. So shiny, in fact, that I could see a clear reflection of the person in the next stall. I'm pretty sure they could see me too. FML

#17877731
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25700) - you deserved it (2488)

On 10/01/2011 at 10:18am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

#17874410
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23491) - you deserved it (5802)

On 09/30/2011 at 10:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32251) - you deserved it (2559)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

#17839569
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18837) - you deserved it (42229)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:20pm - intimacy - by BigBananaLover - United States (California)

Today, desperate for my boyfriend to notice me for once, I started noisily masturbating while he was playing World of Warcraft. His response was to put his headphones on. FML

#17811635
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36939) - you deserved it (10971)

On 09/23/2011 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

#17804302
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21650) - you deserved it (13910)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML

#17801637
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10833) - you deserved it (38148)

On 09/22/2011 at 12:44am - misc - by mortenp - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

#17789217
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26992) - you deserved it (2142)

On 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
423 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53206) - you deserved it (5251)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML

#17767423
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24028) - you deserved it (6478)

On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got pulled over for distracted driving. Not for cell phone use but for nose picking and inspecting. FML

#17762690
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8694) - you deserved it (32598)

On 09/17/2011 at 4:37am - misc - by jj4320 - United States (California)

Today, I finally told my crush that I like her. She said she could never date me, because apparently, "My best friend likes you." Her best friend is my step-sister. FML

#17758843
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27636) - you deserved it (1947)

On 09/16/2011 at 5:10pm - love - by messed up - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was brutally run over by a man in a wheelchair. FML

#17757817
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21694) - you deserved it (3319)

On 09/16/2011 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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