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lvlcapblue

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lvlcapblue
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 776
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 11 posted

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lvlcapblue's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML

#16812577
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28978) - you deserved it (5533)

On 06/23/2011 at 4:53am - kids - by wow - Sent from mobile version

Today, I thought it would be hot if I sent my boyfriend kinky message. He didn't reply so I sent a few more. 10 minutes later I got a reply saying, "Honey, this is his mom and you should be a little less desperate." FML

#16510507
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16880) - you deserved it (39589)

On 06/05/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by yup - United States (Washington)

Today, I gave my husband an ultimatum: either he could have sex with me or play Minecraft. Needless to say, he spent the rest of the evening playing Minecraft. FML

#16467610
384 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34475) - you deserved it (12645)

On 06/02/2011 at 12:52pm - intimacy - by minecraftwilldie - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had an orgasm for the first time in almost 3 months. My husband was beaming, saying he had given it his all and was ecstatic that he had finally satisfied me. But to be honest, I'd remembered we had a bag of potato chips in the kitchen. FML

#16466460
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30858) - you deserved it (14180)

On 06/02/2011 at 10:49am - intimacy - by satisfied88 -

Today, my doctor told me I have tennis elbow in both arms. I don't play tennis, I just have way too much free time. FML

#16464480
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9636) - you deserved it (35550)

On 06/02/2011 at 4:46am - intimacy - by tomuchtime -

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

#16448858
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13233) - you deserved it (20298)

On 06/01/2011 at 8:35am - intimacy - by Username - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53267) - you deserved it (9956)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at my school's spaghetti dinner with my family. My brother shook up my mom's soda, as a prank. My entire class witnessed my mom waving around an overflowing Diet Coke while my dad yelled, "Come on, put your mouth on it! Suck it! Suck it, Kathy!" FML

#4630669
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (107766) - you deserved it (8042)

On 08/18/2009 at 3:20pm - misc - by gbhlaughingstock (man) - United States

Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bare to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML

#1815627
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (397711) - you deserved it (52915)

On 05/10/2009 at 3:01pm - animals - by catlady (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking to class with my roommate. She didn't notice the car coming up behind her because her headphones were in. As I pulled her out of the way, she thought I was goofing around and shoved me back... in front of the car. I got hit and rolled off the hood. FML

#1719560
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105536) - you deserved it (4867)

On 05/07/2009 at 3:11pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I was laying in bed naked and blindfolded. I told my boyfriend he could do anything he wanted to me. About 30 minutes later I get out of bed and find him in the computer room play World of Warcraft. His friends needed him. FML

#1524498
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82491) - you deserved it (12392)

On 05/01/2009 at 1:40pm - intimacy - by chelle (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML

#1418421
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10502) - you deserved it (98494)

On 04/28/2009 at 10:08am - health - by david - United States (Colorado)

Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML

#948871
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92330) - you deserved it (21263)

On 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm - misc - by anonymiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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