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lucky_tina's favorite FMLs
Today, despite the fact that I'm really sick, my mom insisted that I come home and help babysit my cousins this weekend. When I got there, everyone else took off to do "errands," leaving me with three hyperactive, howler monkey-like children to deal with. FML
by Rory / 04/14/2012 at 6:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I went to a blood drive. The nurse taking my blood mentioned that she'd been called in on her day off, and she swore she wasn't drunk. I didn't know what to do, so I just smiled and blinked back tears as she savaged the vein in my arm. FML
by Anonymous / 04/14/2012 at 12:24pm / United States (California) / Health
by Scabby / 04/11/2012 at 5:53am / United Kingdom (Manchester) / Health
by uhhh what? / 04/10/2012 at 1:47pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Foreveralone / 04/09/2012 at 1:07am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/01/2012 at 11:37am / New Zealand / Miscellaneous
by messyvictor / 01/28/2012 at 11:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/16/2012 at 9:15am / United States / Health
by Ange / 01/15/2012 at 2:34pm / United States (New Hampshire) / Kids
Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML
by soontobedumped / 01/15/2012 at 2:26pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
by lolwut / 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. Devastated, he withered onto the floor into an inconsolable wreck in front of dozens of people. The ribbon of embarrassment that went down my spine was too much for me to handle, so I had to tell him I was "only joking." FML
by backtosquareone / 10/04/2011 at 1:22am / Asia/Pacific Region / Love
Today, I walked in on my daughter trying to tan herself with her regular desk lamp. She won't believe that it wouldn't give her a tan. She's 16 years old. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
by Anonymous / 09/20/2011 at 3:24am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids
by thatoneguy / 09/05/2011 at 4:23pm / United States (Texas) / Kids