About lucky22888 : I love creampies!!! No seriously though I just love to joke around and have fun!!! Life is too short.
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lucky22888's favorite FMLs
Today, I donated blood for the first time. I'm completely healthy and after waiting the appropriate amount of time I left, feeling fine. That is until I went out to eat with my family an hour later and passed out in front of the whole restaurant. FML
by hi_there4397 / 06/14/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML
by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML
by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 12:12am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/08/2013 at 6:34am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML
by Justme / 06/05/2013 at 1:02am / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 06/03/2013 at 4:55pm / France (Aquitaine) / Love
Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina / 06/01/2013 at 12:31am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML
by WTF / 06/01/2013 at 12:03am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/31/2013 at 12:28am / United States / Miscellaneous
by life insurance for 1 / 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML
by $$$ / 05/29/2013 at 12:49am / Australia (New South Wales) / Money
by scared-straight / 05/27/2013 at 12:05am / United States / Animals
Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML
by Anonymous / 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Work
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML
by backseatbusted / 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm / United States / Intimacy
by crappingrapping / 05/21/2013 at 11:01am / United States / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my parents let me babysit my baby sister for the first time. About an hour after they left,… 2Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went… 3Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had…