About lucky22888 : I love creampies!!! No seriously though I just love to joke around and have fun!!! Life is too short.
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Today, my husband of 3 years learned that he's going to be a father. No, I'm not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47074) - you deserved it (2752)
On 06/15/2013 at 12:28am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I donated blood for the first time. I'm completely healthy and after waiting the appropriate amount of time I left, feeling fine. That is until I went out to eat with my family an hour later and passed out in front of the whole restaurant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28840) - you deserved it (2941)
On 06/14/2013 at 12:39am - health - by hi_there4397 (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33025) - you deserved it (20813)
On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40927) - you deserved it (3633)
On 06/11/2013 at 12:12am - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46490) - you deserved it (9434)
On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I got the bill for the flowers my husband arranged to be delivered to me while he's out of town next week. I also got the bill for the flowers he's sending to the floozy he'll be seeing next week while he's out of town. The gift tag for it was: "I can't wait to see you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (48021) - you deserved it (2759)
On 06/05/2013 at 1:02am - love - by Justme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39520) - you deserved it (4355) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 06/03/2013 at 4:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - France (Aquitaine)
Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50053) - you deserved it (3966)
On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36764) - you deserved it (17692)
On 06/01/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by WTF (man) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I signed a two-year lease on a house. My next-door neighbor said she's in love with me, threatened my girlfriend, and won't stop blasting Taylor Swift. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44385) - you deserved it (2992)
On 05/31/2013 at 12:28am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML
I agree, your life sucks (54746) - you deserved it (4103)
On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48866) - you deserved it (4741)
On 05/29/2013 at 12:49am - money - by $$$ - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, as I was lying on my bed with one of my arms hanging from the side, I felt something sniff my hand from underneath. I don't have any pets. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49844) - you deserved it (3223)
On 05/27/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by scared-straight - United States
Today, a man asked about fishing in the river which flows beside where I work. I said you could, but anything you caught under 5 inches has to be thrown back. His wife then said, "Wish I knew that before I married him." I started to laugh. The man almost cried and complained to my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38532) - you deserved it (6329)
On 05/26/2013 at 8:40pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39281) - you deserved it (8972)
On 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by backseatbusted (woman) - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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