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lostmongoose

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lostmongoose

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2672
  • Number of comments : 42
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About lostmongoose : I'm a lurker, and have been lurking around FML for over a year maybe 2. I skulk about the FMLs and comments favoriting and thumbing. Rarely leaving a trace of my ever being there. And in real life I'm an art major, so yeah, there's that.

lostmongoose's page activity

Visits<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 1:23am<b>byattwain</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 2:16am<b>steeler088</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 11:37pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 11:05pm<b>EnigMind</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 10:16am<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 3:01am<b>megan_login</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 2:57am<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 6:01pm<b>mrg_not_a_dude</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 12:10am<b>blakeyboy22</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:42pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:29pm<b>brieee</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 1:11am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 6:15am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 7:16pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:52pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:01pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 11:36am<b>Not_Creative</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 8:38pm

Fucked!<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:24am

lostmongoose's FML badges

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of lostmongoose's badges

lostmongoose's favorite FMLs

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

#20652571
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38655) - you deserved it (13757)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by drug testing - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

#20637691
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60640) - you deserved it (9161)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my crazy neighbor came up to me in the street and slapped me across the face, accusing me of leering through her restroom window while she showered. I'm gay. FML

#20636451
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46343) - you deserved it (6353)

On 05/02/2013 at 4:27am - misc - by inyobeddd (man) - United States (California)

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML

Today, I learned that binding my stomach with duct tape isn't worth it to look thin. I also learned the even worse part when I shrieked more loudly than I should've when I tried to discreetly rip it off in history class. FML

Today, my parents threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't agree to convert to their new brand of Christianity. This is a day after they ranted at me about how I should speak my mind more and not let myself be controlled by other people. FML

#20628024
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43932) - you deserved it (3178)

On 04/28/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the hot girl he's been sending nudes to and cybering with for the past month is probably a bored, fat-as-fuck, balding male living in his mum's basement. The look on his face after I proved that "her" pictures were fake broke my heart. FML

#20623794
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41820) - you deserved it (8184)

On 04/26/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by sanoria51 (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML

#20620574
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53087) - you deserved it (14189)

On 04/25/2013 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83176) - you deserved it (4349)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32845) - you deserved it (112847)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML

#20600180
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46431) - you deserved it (2901)

On 04/17/2013 at 6:56pm - misc - by Flora (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68955) - you deserved it (17920)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68955) - you deserved it (17920)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML

#20592364
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66185) - you deserved it (4046)

On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States



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