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lostmongoose

Offline (22 hours ago) | Search for a member

lostmongoose

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4058
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About lostmongoose : I'm a lurker, and have been lurking around FML for over a year maybe 2. I skulk about the FMLs and comments favoriting and thumbing. Rarely leaving a trace of my ever being there. And in real life I'm an art major, so yeah, there's that.

lostmongoose's page activity

Visits<b>Andrew_Weschke</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:11pm<b>CrazyPitMom</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 3:32pm<b>Myo</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:33am<b>tisvana18</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:50am<b>JimonSern</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 7:14am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 6:11am<b>dutchy86</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 3:07am<b>ThrottleJockey</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:20pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:18pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:15pm<b>jake0110</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 9:44pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 9:06pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:56pm<b>steeler088</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:23pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:07pm<b>guiltySnake</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 11:48pm<b>dayi_beny</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 2:17pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 9:17am

Fucked!<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 2:56am<b>dayi_beny</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 8:18pm<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:56am<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:32pm<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:24am

lostmongoose's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of lostmongoose's badges

lostmongoose's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML

#20974447
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59208) - you deserved it (4351)

On 11/29/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML

#20973574
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49735) - you deserved it (4136)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34309) - you deserved it (15985)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents grounded me for being "addicted" to drugs because I've been taking pain meds every four hours. I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday, and my face is badly swollen. FML

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

#20967834
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64023) - you deserved it (4665)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, after having my sinuses draining for a couple days, my ma stopped by for a surprise visit. Upon discovering the trash can full of used tissues, she called my pastor grandfather to talk to me about the chronic masturbation problem I don't have, but that everyone now thinks I have. FML

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML

#20963971
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28801) - you deserved it (69379)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML

#20963410
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60990) - you deserved it (9204)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML

#20963297
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53251) - you deserved it (8762)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML

#20960837
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62501) - you deserved it (2987)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm - misc - by failed brood mare (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44589) - you deserved it (4066)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML

#20945220
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48966) - you deserved it (11236)

On 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by barebackingit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a new cell phone number and sent a text to my wife. Playing around, I said, "Hey sexy are you alone yet? I'm ready to come over." She responded with, "Hey, yeah he is at work - did you get a new number?" FML

#20941049
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (94200) - you deserved it (6873)

On 11/01/2013 at 3:01am - intimacy - by PapaW - United States (Utah)

Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML

#20936013
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70076) - you deserved it (9224)

On 10/27/2013 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

#20916188
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45702) - you deserved it (2578)

On 10/11/2013 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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