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lostmongoose

Offline (13 hours ago) | Search for a member

lostmongoose

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2879
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About lostmongoose : I'm a lurker, and have been lurking around FML for over a year maybe 2. I skulk about the FMLs and comments favoriting and thumbing. Rarely leaving a trace of my ever being there. And in real life I'm an art major, so yeah, there's that.

lostmongoose's page activity

Visits<b>santosb1</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 11:42pm<b>EpicRainbowzz</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 8:28am<b>soak_25</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:31pm<b>ShadowChaos</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 9:48pm<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 8:56pm<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 8:52pm<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 7:35pm<b>JokerJ312</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 5:49pm<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 1:23am<b>byattwain</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 2:16am<b>steeler088</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 11:37pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 11:05pm<b>EnigMind</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 10:16am<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 3:01am<b>megan_login</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 2:57am<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 6:01pm<b>mrg_not_a_dude</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 12:10am<b>blakeyboy22</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:42pm

Fucked!<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:56am<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:32pm<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:24am

lostmongoose's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of lostmongoose's badges

lostmongoose's favorite FMLs

Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML

#20936013
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65163) - you deserved it (8611)

On 10/27/2013 at 7:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after sending in my passport application for a trip to Paris, I got a letter from the state department saying despite them having my original birth certificate, I don't exist. Upon calling them, I was told that it only proves I'm a citizen, not that I exist. I pay taxes and have a mortgage. FML

#20916188
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44257) - you deserved it (2483)

On 10/11/2013 at 7:45am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML

Today, I sent a student to the dean for trying to smoke pot in my class. His mother called to complain that I publicly humiliated her son. FML

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55187) - you deserved it (27710)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, a man walked into the bank I work at and asked what he would need in order to open an account. I had to look him in the eyes with a straight face, say, "Two pieces of identification," and ask him to put some pants on. FML

#20880767
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37727) - you deserved it (2723)

On 09/14/2013 at 11:04am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while at the zoo, I found out that the rhinos there can pee backwards, while standing directly behind one. FML

#20874616
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38359) - you deserved it (4070)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:51pm - animals - by Are you kidding me? - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
299 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22337) - you deserved it (65657)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, I announced my engagement. My mother's response was to freak out and demand that I postpone my wedding indefinitely. Why? My younger sister caught the bouquet at a wedding last year, so "she has to get married first!" My sister has been single for 3 years and showers once a week. FML

#20858539
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49391) - you deserved it (2611)

On 08/28/2013 at 10:21pm - love - by marryinghimanyway (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

#20848315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45645) - you deserved it (22427)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

#20848315
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45645) - you deserved it (22427)

On 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by me (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I had sex with a guy I've liked for years. There was just one problem: it was so terrible I said, "I think I might be straight" about five minutes in just so it would stop. FML

#20844009
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45336) - you deserved it (13949)

On 08/18/2013 at 11:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML

#20842035
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55861) - you deserved it (3791)

On 08/17/2013 at 6:40pm - love - by why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" (woman) - Netherlands (Friesland)

Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

#20837266
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43263) - you deserved it (2670)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:47pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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