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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3565
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About lostmongoose : I'm a lurker, and have been lurking around FML for over a year maybe 2. I skulk about the FMLs and comments favoriting and thumbing. Rarely leaving a trace of my ever being there. And in real life I'm an art major, so yeah, there's that.

lostmongoose's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 9:17am<b>remometol</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 5:55pm<b>ajm262</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 1:20pm<b>smeegle</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 8:23pm<b>Epicguy1230</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:57pm<b>sullysair123</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 3:50am<b>santosb1</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 11:42pm<b>EpicRainbowzz</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 8:28am<b>soak_25</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:31pm<b>ShadowChaos</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 9:48pm<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 8:56pm<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 8:52pm<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 7:35pm<b>JokerJ312</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 5:49pm<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 1:23am<b>byattwain</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 2:16am<b>steeler088</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 11:37pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 11:05pm

Fucked!<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:56am<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:32pm<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:24am

lostmongoose's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of lostmongoose's badges

lostmongoose's favorite FMLs

Today, while delivering pizzas, someone ordered $19.41 in pizza and wings. After finally finding her appartment, she paid me in two sandwich bags full of pennies and nickels. I had to count them out before giving her the pizza. We aren't allowed to enter the residence, and it was 22 degrees. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48970) - you deserved it (3033)

On 12/01/2013 at 2:42am - work - by JudasThePriest (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She asked if the ring was a temporary thing until I got a better one, saw my dumbfounded face, then played it off as a joke and said yes. I later found out she'd posted on Facebook bitching about the ring, but with the privacy setting set to hide it from me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58158) - you deserved it (5251)

On 11/30/2013 at 3:29pm - love - by fuckface? I wish (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was proud when I started a confrontation with my best friend's brother because he is a sexist pig who treats women like crap. Six hours later my pride was gone: I made him an after-sex sandwich. FML


Today, my mother posted a video of me giving birth, on Facebook. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58382) - you deserved it (4301)

On 11/29/2013 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my family and I finished moving to Texas. As if that isn't bad enough, I'll have to introduce myself all over again to everyone I meet and explain that yes, my parents really did name me Lilypad. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48940) - you deserved it (4062)

On 11/28/2013 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML


I agree, your life sucks (33650) - you deserved it (15749)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents grounded me for being "addicted" to drugs because I've been taking pain meds every four hours. I had my wisdom teeth taken out yesterday, and my face is badly swollen. FML

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML


I agree, your life sucks (63239) - you deserved it (4604)

On 11/23/2013 at 11:11am - misc - by I hate that game - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, after having my sinuses draining for a couple days, my ma stopped by for a surprise visit. Upon discovering the trash can full of used tissues, she called my pastor grandfather to talk to me about the chronic masturbation problem I don't have, but that everyone now thinks I have. FML

Today, I learned that no matter how much of a nerd a girl claims to be, she is not ready for you to speak Klingon during sex. FML


I agree, your life sucks (28312) - you deserved it (68276)

On 11/19/2013 at 10:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to have sex. To set the mood, she suggested we watch a porno she once starred in. FML


I agree, your life sucks (60038) - you deserved it (9095)

On 11/19/2013 at 2:46pm - intimacy - by oops999 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML


I agree, your life sucks (52456) - you deserved it (8657)

On 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm - intimacy - by you+me-clothes=53>< (woman) - Austria (Wien)

Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML


I agree, your life sucks (58374) - you deserved it (2708)

On 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm - misc - by failed brood mare (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43911) - you deserved it (4007)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I woke up late and had to rush to catch my bus. Upon arriving at school, I was hot from running and took off my sweater. It was then, in a lecture hall with 400 people, that I realised I hadn't put a shirt on underneath. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48490) - you deserved it (11061)

On 11/04/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by barebackingit (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

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