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lostmongoose

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lostmongoose
  • Town/Country : Portland, usa
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 622
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About lostmongoose : I'm a lurker, and have been lurking around FML for over a year maybe 2. I skulk about the FMLs and comments favoriting and thumbing. Rarely leaving a trace of my ever being there. And in real life I'm an art major, so yeah, there's that.

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lostmongoose's favorite FMLs

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML

#20592364
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59352) - you deserved it (3160)

On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States

Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML

#20590768
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63590) - you deserved it (2600)

On 04/14/2013 at 4:39pm - misc - by bntje (woman) - Netherlands (Overijssel)

Today, my mom broke the news that my dad secretly got married two months ago, to a woman he has been dating for 15 years, and that my parents have actually been divorced for 12 years. They just lied about it this whole time. FML

#20585943
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58350) - you deserved it (3342)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by too young for this (woman) - United States

Today, I had a friend "dump" me over Facebook. She apparently thought we were dating. I'm a gay man who's lived with his partner for 5 years. She says I have commitment issues. FML

#20583902
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41875) - you deserved it (4302)

On 04/10/2013 at 6:17pm - love - by drama king? (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

#20565460
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43078) - you deserved it (14709)

On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I almost lost my virginity at the age of 34. After years of putting off sex and waiting for marriage, the moment arrived. My new wife could't stop laughing at how small I am. FML

#20562346
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64582) - you deserved it (9733)

On 03/27/2013 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at my job, waiting tables. A fellow server and myself were given a party of 14 Bible thumpers. They left us $9.00 and a mini Bible after awesome service, telling us we did a great job. Unfortunately, Religion doesn't pay my car payment. FML

#20559101
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31384) - you deserved it (5563)

On 03/25/2013 at 4:48am - money - by PrayingForMoney - United States (California)

Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML

#20554606
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43912) - you deserved it (5837)

On 03/22/2013 at 1:28am - love - by eww. (woman) - Australia

Today, at a science-fiction convention, a woman came up to me and told me that my white face paint was a mess, my contacts looked cheap, and my costume was an all-round failure. I wasn't wearing a costume, I'm an albino. FML

#20551525
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38896) - you deserved it (1934)

On 03/19/2013 at 10:16pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my gorgeous, smart, perfect new boyfriend has an unusual fetish. It doesn't involve me at all actually. Just a Labrador. This is probably a deal breaker. FML

#20550555
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38253) - you deserved it (3863)

On 03/19/2013 at 7:30am - intimacy - by soontobesingle (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my superstitious girlfriend of 4 years sneezed in the middle of my proposal. She claimed it was a sign from the universe for us to break up and then immediately left. FML

#20550300
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41654) - you deserved it (3143)

On 03/19/2013 at 12:40am - love - by lanz4949 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML

#20550170
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30271) - you deserved it (15468)

On 03/18/2013 at 11:29pm - love - by amberrenee91 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my boyfriend has a chicken nugget fetish. He wants me to take a chicken nugget bath in a bikini. He seems to be dead serious. FML

#20549296
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42043) - you deserved it (4321)

On 03/18/2013 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by chickenmcnuggetgirl (woman) - Ireland (Meath)

Today, I was over at a friend's house feeding her cats while she was on vacation. After feeding the four of them, I found an extra cat under the sofa. Thinking it was an intruding stray, I kicked it out. She actually has 5 cats. FML

#20548954
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11503) - you deserved it (48781)

On 03/18/2013 at 5:17am - animals - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents asked me if I was sexually active. My grandma then screamed from upstairs, "She's not even physically active!" FML

#20548943
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45066) - you deserved it (13554)

On 03/18/2013 at 4:59am - intimacy - by Susan (woman) - Ireland



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