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lostmongoose

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lostmongoose

3Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2858
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About lostmongoose : I'm a lurker, and have been lurking around FML for over a year maybe 2. I skulk about the FMLs and comments favoriting and thumbing. Rarely leaving a trace of my ever being there. And in real life I'm an art major, so yeah, there's that.

lostmongoose's page activity

Visits<b>EpicRainbowzz</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 8:28am<b>soak_25</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:31pm<b>ShadowChaos</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 9:48pm<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 8:56pm<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 8:52pm<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 7:35pm<b>JokerJ312</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 5:49pm<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 1:23am<b>byattwain</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 2:16am<b>steeler088</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 11:37pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 04/24/2015 at 11:05pm<b>EnigMind</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 10:16am<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 3:01am<b>megan_login</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 2:57am<b>tygerarmy</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 6:01pm<b>mrg_not_a_dude</b> - the 03/12/2015 at 12:10am<b>blakeyboy22</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 11:42pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 1:29pm

Fucked!<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:56am<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:32pm<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:24am

lostmongoose's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of lostmongoose's badges

lostmongoose's favorite FMLs

Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

#21159437
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48125) - you deserved it (5078)

On 06/01/2014 at 2:34pm - misc - by shart up, your puns suck (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML

#21157398
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61091) - you deserved it (6735)

On 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by lahiros (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned brood mare." FML

#21144074
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39309) - you deserved it (9361)

On 05/18/2014 at 3:14pm - misc - by Anonyname (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was chewed out by a lady who claimed the laptop she bought wouldn't turn on, and that she wanted a refund. She yelled and shoved the laptop at me, not even listening when I told her I didn't even work at that store. FML

#21143801
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49862) - you deserved it (3896)

On 05/18/2014 at 10:14am - misc - by lemongrab (woman) - Canada

Today, my mom invited me over yet again so I could practice my culinary degree by making an exquisite, gourmet meal for her dog; a three year old Pomeranian who pees in my shoes. FML

#21138238
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37492) - you deserved it (4744)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:46pm - animals - by that_culinary_degree_though (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a customer cussed me out for hiding behind the counter a jacket she's been "eyeing since it came out". She loudly exclaimed that she was going to report me to my manager and get me "fired." It was my personal jacket that we don't even sell. FML

Today, it's five days until my wedding and I still can't tell my bride apart from her twin sister. They share clothes, have the same haircut, and they even take turns flirting with me to "catch me off guard" because they think it's hilarious to trick me. I'm scared I'll marry the wrong one. FML

#21133982
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64039) - you deserved it (8111)

On 05/08/2014 at 9:55am - love - by STOP (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friend sent me a link to a "horrible" tattoo that he found online, that a guy had gotten at my tattoo parlor. FML

#21133162
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36440) - you deserved it (9212)

On 05/07/2014 at 10:55am - misc - by Bad Artist - United States

Today, I turned in my best painting yet for a scholarship competition. For once in my life, I was actually proud of a piece I'd done. I ended up losing the scholarship to some dickface who'd basically just glued together some crap from the dollar store and called it conceptual art. FML

#21132527
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42485) - you deserved it (5051)

On 05/06/2014 at 4:52pm - misc - by assgoblins piss me off (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I let my sister use my phone to play music in the shower, expecting her to use the speakers I have. She used a ziplock bag with a hole in it to connect her headphones. Now I have a waterlogged phone and my sister still doesn't understand why it didn't work. FML

#21130991
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43462) - you deserved it (7592)

On 05/04/2014 at 11:18pm - misc - by wow. - United States (Illinois)

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45342) - you deserved it (4747)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I read that egg whites make a good hair treatment. Everything was going fine until, without thinking, I turned the hot water on to wash it out. I'm still picking the cooked egg out of my hair. FML

#21129302
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25346) - you deserved it (33347)

On 05/03/2014 at 12:57am - misc - by EggHead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss told our production department that we're not allowed to be happy. FML

#21129081
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39811) - you deserved it (3352)

On 05/02/2014 at 8:03pm - work - by i guess (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37299) - you deserved it (4098)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



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