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lostmongoose

Offline (the 07/19/2014 at 4:39am) | Search for a member

lostmongoose

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1022
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About lostmongoose : I'm a lurker, and have been lurking around FML for over a year maybe 2. I skulk about the FMLs and comments favoriting and thumbing. Rarely leaving a trace of my ever being there. And in real life I'm an art major, so yeah, there's that.

lostmongoose's page activity

Visits<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:52pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:01pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 11:36am<b>Not_Creative</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 8:38pm<b>onlyme25</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:30am<b>RedX1000FML</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 12:38am<b>jjames267</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 11:37pm<b>paige146622</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 10:52pm<b>crazytrainer</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 5:40pm<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 5:21pm<b>Lauren2490</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 11:37am<b>Wiz_Of_Oz</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 8:30am<b>MikeonFML</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 8:11am<b>babybunnypinkeye</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 4:43am<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 1:58pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 4:53pm<b>neeni88</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 4:15pm<b>prettychic2001</b> - the 08/15/2013 at 3:05pm

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lostmongoose's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

#20141607
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19468) - you deserved it (3865)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25914) - you deserved it (1828)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

#20130407
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23284) - you deserved it (2587)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

#20127667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28506) - you deserved it (1493)

On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

#20127667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28506) - you deserved it (1493)

On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML

#20121974
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24430) - you deserved it (2279)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:58am - work - by satanworshipper - United States (Florida)

Today, for the second time, I met the man I'm having an arranged marriage with in 3 months. I'd previously met him last night, while he was mugging me. FML

#20120711
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38260) - you deserved it (2813)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24888) - you deserved it (6499)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML

#20114536
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23632) - you deserved it (5599)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:35am - animals - by afraidtosleep - United States (Texas)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74713) - you deserved it (8757)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32736) - you deserved it (3410)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he pulls out during doggy-style and rubs my clit with the tip of his penis, he will be rewarded with a queef. He found it hilarious and tested it out 5 more times. FML

#20105380
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30511) - you deserved it (6416)

On 10/07/2012 at 6:25am - intimacy - by SoSexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

#20098150
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28432) - you deserved it (1939)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML

#20097322
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21827) - you deserved it (2177)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by raz (woman) - United States (North Dakota)



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