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lostmongoose

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lostmongoose

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4021
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About lostmongoose : I'm a lurker, and have been lurking around FML for over a year maybe 2. I skulk about the FMLs and comments favoriting and thumbing. Rarely leaving a trace of my ever being there. And in real life I'm an art major, so yeah, there's that.

lostmongoose's page activity

Visits<b>Andrew_Weschke</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:11pm<b>CrazyPitMom</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 3:32pm<b>Myo</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:33am<b>tisvana18</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:50am<b>JimonSern</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 7:14am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 6:11am<b>dutchy86</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 3:07am<b>ThrottleJockey</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:20pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:18pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:15pm<b>jake0110</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 9:44pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 9:06pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:56pm<b>steeler088</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:23pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:07pm<b>guiltySnake</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 11:48pm<b>dayi_beny</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 2:17pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 9:17am

Fucked!<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 2:56am<b>dayi_beny</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 8:18pm<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:56am<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:32pm<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:24am

lostmongoose's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of lostmongoose's badges

lostmongoose's favorite FMLs

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

#20538966
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45148) - you deserved it (4192)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:17am - love - by lonely girl - United States

Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML

#20538947
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34230) - you deserved it (2715)

On 03/11/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by marcymoo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

#20538482
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38361) - you deserved it (4197)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband was arrested for having sex in public. FML

#20538233
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48815) - you deserved it (4721)

On 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm - love - by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall (woman) - Cyprus (Nicosia)

Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML

#20537010
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23153) - you deserved it (64222)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

#20529995
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31676) - you deserved it (3179)

On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41771) - you deserved it (3245)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML

#20527434
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36500) - you deserved it (8710)

On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, because he didn't trust himself not to cheat on me. What? FML

#20526676
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39839) - you deserved it (4014)

On 03/01/2013 at 7:02am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38879) - you deserved it (7167)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by quietly undressing and sneaking into the bathroom to join him in the shower. He was bent over taking a dump, pushing his turd down the plughole. FML

#20524189
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41817) - you deserved it (6473)

On 02/27/2013 at 8:49am - misc - by anony (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58749) - you deserved it (4321)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, I gave birth to my daughter in a hospital corridor. The nurse who took me to my room afterward tried to comfort me by saying there've been worse incidents; she said that two years ago, a lady gave birth in the parking lot. That was me too. FML

#20521872
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60231) - you deserved it (4884) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/25/2013 at 2:47pm - health - by laprochainefoisjerestealamaison (woman) - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37697) - you deserved it (5019)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States

Today, a woman strapped her 8-year-old son into the seat next to me on a transatlantic flight. Thinking they'd been unable to book seats together, I offered to swap seats with her. She said she'd booked it this way intentionally, because he's a "fucking brat" on flights. She was right. FML

#20513411
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46808) - you deserved it (2482)

On 02/19/2013 at 12:13pm - kids - by Sigh (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)



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