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lostmongoose

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lostmongoose

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1502
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About lostmongoose : I'm a lurker, and have been lurking around FML for over a year maybe 2. I skulk about the FMLs and comments favoriting and thumbing. Rarely leaving a trace of my ever being there. And in real life I'm an art major, so yeah, there's that.

lostmongoose's page activity

Visits<b>brieee</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 1:11am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 6:15am<b>Ayezed</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 7:16pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 3:52pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 11:01pm<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 12/17/2013 at 11:36am<b>Not_Creative</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 8:38pm<b>onlyme25</b> - the 10/21/2013 at 1:30am<b>RedX1000FML</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 12:38am<b>jjames267</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 11:37pm<b>paige146622</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 10:52pm<b>crazytrainer</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 5:40pm<b>graceinsheepwear</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 5:21pm<b>Lauren2490</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 11:37am<b>Wiz_Of_Oz</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 8:30am<b>MikeonFML</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 8:11am<b>babybunnypinkeye</b> - the 09/11/2013 at 4:43am<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 1:58pm

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lostmongoose's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

#21301160
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30173) - you deserved it (2346)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:35am - animals - by blindsparrow - United States (California)

Today, we are reading Animal Farm in class. Almost the entire class think it's about animal abuse. Including the teacher. FML

#21291068
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36388) - you deserved it (2523)

On 11/03/2014 at 6:04am - misc - by literature -

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

#21288944
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33738) - you deserved it (2552)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:31am - animals - by noxiffic (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35547) - you deserved it (3731)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25821) - you deserved it (52024)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my son was smart enough to hack the school's computers to change his midterm, but isn't smart enough to actually keep his grades up. FML

#21273806
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34408) - you deserved it (3553)

On 10/08/2014 at 9:12pm - kids - by thenegatives - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML

#21271972
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36118) - you deserved it (4390)

On 10/06/2014 at 11:05am - work - by theseguysarewhipped... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as a limo driver, I had to drive 8 guys for a night-out from their wives. I put the Michigan/Rutgers game on the radio, thinking they would appreciate that. Apparently, they wanted to listen to their "pump-up" songs instead, which were mostly Katy Perry songs. FML

#21271972
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36118) - you deserved it (4390)

On 10/06/2014 at 11:05am - work - by theseguysarewhipped... - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at age 31, I was about to finally lose my virginity. As we tumbled onto the bed, an excruciating pain shot through my stomach. It turned out to be a hernia, and no, I didn't get laid in the end. FML

#21271185
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37253) - you deserved it (3354)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:55am - intimacy - by fucksake (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I finally got around to cleaning out my mother's things after her passing. In the process I found a fancy box. What did it contain? A collection of crack pipes. FML

#21270609
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36209) - you deserved it (2582)

On 10/04/2014 at 10:58am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was called in over speakers at the airport. The man who was speaking clearly and nearly burst out laughing when he said my name. Soon, a few people around also snickered when they heard it. I had to wait five minutes before I could casually stand up. My last name is Bastard. FML

#21248318
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41344) - you deserved it (3215)

On 08/30/2014 at 4:35am - misc - by poorbastard (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML

#21206318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44277) - you deserved it (8283)

On 07/11/2014 at 7:38pm - animals - by and god shat (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend said that he doesn't have to marry me because we coincidentally have the same last name. FML

#21200981
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44065) - you deserved it (4973)

On 07/06/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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