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lostmongoose

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lostmongoose

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4061
  • Number of comments : 51
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About lostmongoose : I'm a lurker, and have been lurking around FML for over a year maybe 2. I skulk about the FMLs and comments favoriting and thumbing. Rarely leaving a trace of my ever being there. And in real life I'm an art major, so yeah, there's that.

lostmongoose's page activity

Visits<b>Andrew_Weschke</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 5:11pm<b>CrazyPitMom</b> - the 02/02/2016 at 3:32pm<b>Myo</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 10:33am<b>tisvana18</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 2:50am<b>JimonSern</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 7:14am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 6:11am<b>dutchy86</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 3:07am<b>ThrottleJockey</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:20pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:18pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:15pm<b>jake0110</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 9:44pm<b>why_teh_hell</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 9:06pm<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:56pm<b>steeler088</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:23pm<b>MxAxRxCxO</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 8:07pm<b>guiltySnake</b> - the 11/12/2015 at 11:48pm<b>dayi_beny</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 2:17pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 9:17am

Fucked!<b>gobiteme2</b> - the 11/29/2015 at 2:56am<b>dayi_beny</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 8:18pm<b>thebakingseal</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:56am<b>BananaCoconutty</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 11:32pm<b>ZombieVampirez</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 7:24am

lostmongoose's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of lostmongoose's badges

lostmongoose's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a noise in my garage so I grabbed a baseball bat and went to look. The skunk I stirred was actually better armed than me. FML

#21523316
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17935) - you deserved it (1778)

On 02/06/2016 at 6:42am - animals - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

#21522558
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22362) - you deserved it (2139)

On 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm - kids - by Spooderman (woman) - United States

Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML

#21522430
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25683) - you deserved it (4074)

On 02/03/2016 at 1:14pm - work - by Upset (man) - United States (California)

Today, my father contacted me for the first time in years to ask about my upcoming wedding and possibly walking me down the aisle. He claimed the only reason he left was because he thought I'd be gay. I am. FML

#21514376
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21301) - you deserved it (1897)

On 01/12/2016 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after dating this girl for 3 months, I finally introduced her to my friends. She looked panicked during the date, and after it she broke up with me. When I asked why, she told me she could try to deal with a black friend, but not with a gay one. I've been dating a moron all this time. FML

#21508983
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23923) - you deserved it (2419)

On 12/29/2015 at 6:07am - love - by Alien (man) - Switzerland

Today, my puppy went missing. I found him, unconscious but thankfully alive, in a taped-up box with no holes. My little brother eventually confessed to doing it because he wanted to sell my puppy on eBay. FML

#21505108
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26095) - you deserved it (1272)

On 12/18/2015 at 10:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, someone finally got the guts to punch my extremely rude mother in the face. My wife. FML

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML

#21494790
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28024) - you deserved it (2604)

On 11/20/2015 at 9:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I learned the hard way that my boyfriend lied about getting a vasectomy before we met, in spite of knowing how phobic I am of pregnancy and kids. His defense? "I figured you'd change your mind someday, because all you chicks love babies." FML

Today, while on a walk during lunch, I urgently needed to pee. Not thinking I could make it back to the office, I slipped into some bushes to relieve myself. As I was going, I looked to the side and saw two coworkers staring back at me. They were having sex, and I'm there with my dick out. Awkward. FML

#21483245
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25546) - you deserved it (3565)

On 10/23/2015 at 12:05am - work - by Embarrassed ass. (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got into a minor argument with my fiancé. Deciding it wasn't worth fighting over, I shrugged and said, "Really, what are we even doing this for?" To which he replied, "Honestly, I don't know. I haven't loved you in years… Oh, you meant about the fight." And just like that, I'm now single. FML

#21479918
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32004) - you deserved it (2500)

On 10/14/2015 at 8:41am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the hospital for a scan. The tech went wide-eyed and stared at his screen in horror before realizing I could see him. He wouldn't tell me what he saw, apparently only my doctor is allowed to do that. So now I have to wait for god knows how long to get my results back. FML

#21478782
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28187) - you deserved it (1530)

On 10/11/2015 at 10:02pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after saying I'd edit and revise a coworker's report so he could go home and spend his anniversary with his wife, he sent me a file. Upon opening it, it was pictures of men wearing strange fetish gear while being dominated. He has yet to send me the correct file and I'm scared to ask. FML

#21473823
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25335) - you deserved it (1813)

On 09/28/2015 at 4:33pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my son had a secret party. At first I was mad, then I had a complete and total Incredible Hulk meltdown when I realized that he had opened a bottle of very expensive whiskey, originally bottled by my great great grandfather in Scotland, and used it as a mixer with fucking Pepsi. FML

#21469567
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35415) - you deserved it (2451)

On 09/17/2015 at 3:48pm - kids - by Angus (man) - France

Today, it was my dad's retirement. He is traditional Japanese, so I had custom-ordered a samurai sword from a traditional Japanese blacksmith with dad's name engraved on the blade in kanji script. He loved it, right up til my drunk cousin tried to use it to cut down a tree and snapped it in two. FML

#21469447
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27878) - you deserved it (1526)

On 09/17/2015 at 7:13am - misc - by Ryoichi (man) - Germany



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