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lordslaya53

Offline (the 07/07/2015 at 3:12pm) | Search for a member

lordslaya53

1Fucked!

lordslaya53
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 June 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3724
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About lordslaya53 : Please ignore my username I made it when I was maybe 12 haha
Guitarist/ audio engineer/ producer based out of Calgary, AB, Canada
My band's name is Plaguebringer and you can check us out on Facebook and buy our debut EP on Bandcamp!

lordslaya53's page activity

Visits<b>kalibunk</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:51am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:02am<b>MrsJoHood</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 4:50am<b>tralulilulalala</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:56am<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 1:52pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 10:13pm<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 6:56pm<b>shaar</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 6:41am<b>IniestaRox</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:27pm<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 12:18am<b>James64138</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:40pm<b>sprigs_</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 1:46pm<b>jezzilla</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 5:21pm<b>maricruz486</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 3:50pm<b>brisbanegirl</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 9:21am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 10:29am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 11:27pm<b>JoshNotWright</b> - the 03/19/2015 at 11:07pm

Fucked!<b>James64138</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:11pm

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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lordslaya53's favorite FMLs

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

#20630400
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52021) - you deserved it (3551)

On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his buddies that the main reason he got into video game modding was so he could put a virtual version of me in his games and "shoot the fuck out of that bitch". FML

#20627653
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51325) - you deserved it (6832)

On 04/28/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by gibbette (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML

#20627190
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51663) - you deserved it (10638)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:16am - misc - by Beth - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57073) - you deserved it (12797)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, I was sent to group therapy. A girl spent twenty minutes telling us horrible details of having been raised incestuously. A side effect of my new medication is yawning. FML

Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84156) - you deserved it (4423)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

#20613218
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50525) - you deserved it (8175)

On 04/22/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that taking triple the maximum dosage of painkillers won't actually triple its effects. She rolled her eyes, called me clueless, and said that I should "leave this stuff to the professionals." She's studying to become a doctor. FML

#20610275
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43042) - you deserved it (6012)

On 04/21/2013 at 1:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, my virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch my penis. FML

#20596452
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69073) - you deserved it (17942)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

#20582197
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47631) - you deserved it (4902)

On 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15543) - you deserved it (60003)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad had a little too much to drink. When he's that drunk, he likes to pepper me with a lot of random questions. He asked if I've ever tried hard drugs, and if I want to die. I answered no to both of the questions, and he demanded to know why not. FML

#20577504
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30793) - you deserved it (2657)

On 04/06/2013 at 1:06pm - misc - by yeah why not (woman) - Norway

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52806) - you deserved it (5808)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42282) - you deserved it (5462)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided we are to the point in our relationship that it's considered acceptable to take a dump while I'm in there showering. FML



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