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lordslaya53

Offline (the 10/18/2014 at 4:13pm) | Search for a member

lordslaya53

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 June 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2133
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About lordslaya53 : I'm in a metal band called Abstract Asylum based out of Calgary Canada! Check us out on facebook :)

lordslaya53's page activity

Visits<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:10pm<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:46pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:22pm<b>Skyzeri</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 3:12pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:15pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 9:54am<b>ashla8613</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 12:46am<b>Helpfulman</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:23pm<b>nolive</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:50pm<b>IzzyInWonderland</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:34pm<b>XxxEmoAngelxxX</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 1:29pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 6:39pm<b>GreentacoDerp</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 7:10pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 11:49pm<b>JBChristian</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:45pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:35pm<b>Pinkraincoat</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:35pm<b>HeyTherexxx</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:24pm

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lordslaya53's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my 5-year-old son covering my nose and mouth with his hand and complaining, "Noooo, you need to die now." FML

#20695159
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63074) - you deserved it (5065)

On 05/30/2013 at 12:29pm - kids - by life insurance for 1 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

#20694089
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45436) - you deserved it (9084)

On 05/29/2013 at 9:53pm - misc - by paulinapo - United States (New York)

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

#20692945
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46463) - you deserved it (3434)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63645) - you deserved it (14008)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63282) - you deserved it (14411)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I accidentally hit a cyclist with my car. In panic, I jumped out of my car and ran up to him, who was lying on the floor, motionless. As I was about to check his pulse, he jumped up and shouted, "I bet you thought I was dead, asshole!" He then punched me in the face and cycled off. FML

#20688904
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50723) - you deserved it (23561)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:19am - misc - by i hit a cyclist (man) - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, whilst driving past a cyclist, I thought it would be funny to make him jump by blasting my horn right behind him and then driving off. I guess he thought it would be funny to catch up with me, yank off my wing-mirror, and hurl it through the open window at my face. FML

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

#20673456
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45838) - you deserved it (3502)

On 05/19/2013 at 5:27pm - work - by harrington61 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

#20673285
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40991) - you deserved it (3373)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML

#20667410
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50928) - you deserved it (5369)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm - love - by paging dr. kevorkian (man) - Netherlands

Today, I walked in on my sister masturbating with my curling iron. FML

#20667250
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73179) - you deserved it (6149)

On 05/16/2013 at 3:49pm - intimacy - by need € for new iron (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50489) - you deserved it (4879)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while sitting at a red light with my window down, the asshat next to me flicked his still-lit cigarette away. It landed in my car and wedged between me and my seat. It burned a hole in my shirt and my seat, and burned my back and hair. FML

#20665470
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44808) - you deserved it (3057)

On 05/15/2013 at 5:47pm - work - by Seriously? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a coin on the ground. As I bent over to pick it up, some dude came up from behind, grabbed my waist and humped me three times. He ran away before I could get a good look at his face. FML

#20664572
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50963) - you deserved it (8859)

On 05/15/2013 at 4:08am - misc - by asdffhhjk (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML

#20661280
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38632) - you deserved it (3953)

On 05/13/2013 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Hawaii)



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