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Offline (the 07/07/2015 at 3:12pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 June 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4049
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About lordslaya53 : Please ignore my username I made it when I was maybe 12 haha
Guitarist/ audio engineer/ producer based out of Calgary, AB, Canada
My band's name is Plaguebringer and you can check us out on Facebook and buy our debut EP on Bandcamp!

lordslaya53's page activity

Visits<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 9:04pm<b>sarahgoulding</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 11:43pm<b>alex_gen</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 3:38pm<b>amc597</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 5:23pm<b>EezyWay</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 11:38pm<b>Xx_dankdoge_xX</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 8:44am<b>kalibunk</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:51am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:02am<b>MrsJoHood</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 4:50am<b>tralulilulalala</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:56am<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 1:52pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 10:13pm<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 6:56pm<b>shaar</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 6:41am<b>IniestaRox</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:27pm<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 12:18am<b>James64138</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:40pm<b>sprigs_</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 1:46pm

Fucked!<b>James64138</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:11pm

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lordslaya53's favorite FMLs

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML


I agree, your life sucks (62755) - you deserved it (11781)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, "So, why should we hire you?" Without thinking, I blurted out, "Because, I'm awesome!" Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML

Today, I got angry after not being able to have an orgasm. What was I angry at? My own hand. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46221) - you deserved it (21971)

On 07/02/2013 at 2:47am - intimacy - by lonely girl (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to mow a penis into our lawn. I guess he forgot my parents are coming over. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42577) - you deserved it (5100)

On 06/25/2013 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 16-year-old son broke two of his fingers playing with Play-Doh. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49599) - you deserved it (5040)

On 06/19/2013 at 12:12pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my daughter found out what happens when my husband watches Mythbusters and doesn't heed the disclaimer to "Not try this at home." He feels bad about her cut face, but says he's proud he can throw a playing card that hard. FML

Today, I was riding a bike when a truck accidentally hit me. The handsome driver came out and asked if I was alright. I said, "I am now" and winked. He said "Eww, no" then immediately ran away and drove his truck around me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42335) - you deserved it (26547)

On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me. I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend. He hasn't stopped laughing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (56340) - you deserved it (6827)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML


I agree, your life sucks (64900) - you deserved it (14685)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my band and I played at our first ever real gig. Our drummer turned up high out of his damn mind. After ruining our act with his godawful performance, he screamed "HELL YEAH!" then ran and dove off the stage into a nearly non-existent audience. We were told to never come back. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50163) - you deserved it (5285)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:32pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my brother looked me dead in the eyes and said his life goal is to find a way to jizz on everyone in the world. I'm scared. FML


I agree, your life sucks (59263) - you deserved it (5354)

On 06/03/2013 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Poland (Kujawsko-Pomorskie)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML


I agree, your life sucks (72322) - you deserved it (4427)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

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