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lordslaya53

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lordslaya53

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lordslaya53
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 June 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2561
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About lordslaya53 : Please ignore my username I made it when I was maybe 12 haha
Guitarist/ audio engineer/ producer based out of Calgary, AB, Canada
My band's name is Plaguebringer and you can check us out on Facebook and buy our debut EP on Bandcamp!

lordslaya53's page activity

Visits<b>gwen128128</b> - yesterday at 5:06pm<b>BritSkits</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 9:41pm<b>Sassy_Kitten96</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 12:31am<b>James64138</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 7:11am<b>luminalunii69</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 11:27pm<b>Snake1105</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 8:36am<b>thesnypist8</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:10pm<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 6:46pm<b>kayzers</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:22pm<b>Skyzeri</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 3:12pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 11:15pm<b>Nevracceptdefeat</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 9:54am<b>ashla8613</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 12:46am<b>Helpfulman</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:23pm<b>nolive</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:50pm<b>IzzyInWonderland</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:34pm<b>XxxEmoAngelxxX</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 1:29pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 6:39pm

Liked!<b>James64138</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:11pm

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You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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lordslaya53's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw an elderly gentleman in the street wearing a shirt with a big QR code on it. Amused, I used an app on my phone to decode it. It gave me a shortened web address, which I followed, only to be faced with a picture of the same gentleman naked, grinning, and giving a thumbs up. FML

#20882561
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55036) - you deserved it (27646)

On 09/15/2013 at 3:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, my obese mother-in-law took her top off at our pool party, exposing her sagging breasts. When I told her to cover herself, she lifted her breasts, turned them inwards, and squeezed them together while staring me in the eyes. She kept doing this on and off for the next two hours. FML

#20872521
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46583) - you deserved it (4620)

On 09/08/2013 at 2:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to find my housemate cowering in the lounge corner, sobbing, hugging a bag of chips while the automatic vacuum cleaner gently bumped into him. Apparently he "mistakenly" put magic mushrooms in his sandwich instead of peanut butter. FML

#20868509
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39758) - you deserved it (2958)

On 09/05/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by down trodden (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43101) - you deserved it (7344)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, my wife appropriated our savings to finance her crazy, midlife crisis idea of designing and marketing Cheez Whiz dildos. FML

#20860571
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36954) - you deserved it (3023)

On 08/30/2013 at 5:05pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the moans I make when masturbating sound like I'm crying. I realized this when my neighbor pounded on the door asking if I was okay. FML

#20856552
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45020) - you deserved it (11034)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by crier - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

#20840053
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42391) - you deserved it (3274)

On 08/16/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by hipster glasses - United States

Today, for the first time in my life, I simultaneously sneezed, peed and farted. I was giving a presentation at work when this happened. FML

#20838395
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52183) - you deserved it (3743)

On 08/15/2013 at 5:47am - work - by bglenney - United States (California)

Today, I received a lemon in a box in the mail. I didn't know from who it was, nor how he or she knows my address. There was a note on it: "When life gives you lemons, date me." FML

#20837021
190 comments

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

#20836718
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54290) - you deserved it (6169)

On 08/14/2013 at 5:11am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while cleaning my ears with Q-tips, I came in my pants. FML

#20835942
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48158) - you deserved it (17181)

On 08/13/2013 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by ANON (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend texted me "I think we should move in". Then, ten seconds later she sent another text that said, "Sorry, typo. Move on". FML

Today, I asked out a guy at work that I really like. He just stared at me and said, "Honestly? I'd rather smash my balls with a mallet. No offense." FML

#20828908
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50865) - you deserved it (4507)

On 08/09/2013 at 10:54am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, at the pool, a kid no older than 8 was sitting on the diving board, not letting anyone else use it. I went over and tried to reason with him, but he wouldn't listen. My uncle stormed over, said "I got this!" and punted him over the edge. We both got thrown out for "bullying" the kid. FML

#20827779
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46337) - you deserved it (6211)

On 08/08/2013 at 7:03pm - kids - by JuggaloSlasher15 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was video chatting with my boyfriend and his friends. When I stood up, he told his friend "See, she's not a twig!" I jokingly replied with, "So I'm fat?" After a few seconds of silence, his friend yelled, "It's a trap!" and left the chat. FML

#20825004
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43970) - you deserved it (13912)

On 08/07/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by ImNotFat - United States (Pennsylvania)



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