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Offline (the 07/07/2015 at 3:12pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 June 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4165
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About lordslaya53 : Please ignore my username I made it when I was maybe 12 haha
Guitarist/ audio engineer/ producer based out of Calgary, AB, Canada
My band's name is Plaguebringer and you can check us out on Facebook and buy our debut EP on Bandcamp!

lordslaya53's page activity

Visits<b>taranoelr</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 5:48pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 9:04pm<b>sarahgoulding</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 11:43pm<b>alex_gen</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 3:38pm<b>amc597</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 5:23pm<b>EezyWay</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 11:38pm<b>Xx_dankdoge_xX</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 8:44am<b>kalibunk</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:51am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:02am<b>MrsJoHood</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 4:50am<b>tralulilulalala</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:56am<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 1:52pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 10:13pm<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 6:56pm<b>shaar</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 6:41am<b>IniestaRox</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:27pm<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 12:18am<b>James64138</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:40pm

Fucked!<b>James64138</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:11pm

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lordslaya53's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML


I agree, your life sucks (58128) - you deserved it (35103)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33810) - you deserved it (42216)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46121) - you deserved it (5427)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44484) - you deserved it (8312) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39391) - you deserved it (12787)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by thanks.... (man) - United States

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML


I agree, your life sucks (51962) - you deserved it (12377)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I decided to light a lantern and watch it fly with my girlfriend after midnight. The neighbor's tree caught fire. FML


I agree, your life sucks (39041) - you deserved it (12987)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:17am - misc - by claubea11 - Puerto Rico

Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49062) - you deserved it (3639)

On 12/17/2013 at 6:48pm - misc - by gymgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, I was taking a shower with my boyfriend. While we were washing our hair, he got soap in his eyes and mouth. I was facing him, and since his eyes were closed he didn't realize how close I was. When he spat the soap out, it went straight into my eyes. Neither of us could see. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46500) - you deserved it (6640)

On 12/16/2013 at 11:44am - misc - by abc123 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45583) - you deserved it (6579)

On 12/15/2013 at 11:58am - animals - by Cat Piss - United States (Texas)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. As he came, he yelled "FIRST, BITCHES!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (52453) - you deserved it (9547)

On 12/14/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my girlfriend wants to make a video of us having sex for us to watch later and figure out how to improve our skills in bed. The problem is her choice of cameraman: her uncle. FML


Today, I pulled over a speeding driver. I admit that I'd been hoping for this moment since I joined the police force; the moment a lady put her cleavage on display to get out of a ticket. Sadly, this lady was a senior citizen, and her breasts looked like two semi-deflated balloons. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47194) - you deserved it (21237)

On 12/01/2013 at 6:07pm - work - by fuck my eyeballs (man) - United States (California)

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