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lordslaya53

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lordslaya53

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 June 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1747
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About lordslaya53 : I'm in a metal band called Abstract Asylum based out of Calgary Canada! Check us out on facebook :)

lordslaya53's page activity

Visits<b>Helpfulman</b> - the 06/22/2014 at 7:23pm<b>nolive</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 3:50pm<b>IzzyInWonderland</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 11:34pm<b>XxxEmoAngelxxX</b> - the 05/04/2014 at 1:29pm<b>zeriously95</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 6:40pm<b>krupa1017</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 6:39pm<b>GreentacoDerp</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 7:10pm<b>Hilda_x</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 11:49pm<b>JBChristian</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:45pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:35pm<b>Pinkraincoat</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:35pm<b>HeyTherexxx</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 10:24pm<b>TdotMaria</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 9:19pm<b>macho_nacho</b> - the 03/25/2014 at 12:42pm<b>Mr_Saikaly</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 5:43am<b>mnie</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 7:03pm<b>BumbleChick</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 10:51am<b>Tomgirl_Julie</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 4:07pm

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lordslaya53's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to the arcade with my dad, and we decided to try out the hurricane simulator, which blasts 60mph air around in an enclosed space. My dad farted halfway through. FML

#21066497
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42297) - you deserved it (4489)

On 02/20/2014 at 12:45pm - misc - by begging for air - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML

#21062817
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21645) - you deserved it (55216)

On 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I have Hello Kitty band-aids on my nips because I dozed off while tanning and burned them extra crispy. FML

#21062623
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20620) - you deserved it (36860)

On 02/16/2014 at 5:23pm - health - by extra crispy or original recipe (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was out with my girlfriend at a club. As a slow dance began, a guy approached and asked, "May I cut in?" My girlfriend surprised me by saying, "Sure!" As I was about to protest, the guy cut me off and said, "Sorry miss, I was asking him." FML

#21059471
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44424) - you deserved it (6009)

On 02/13/2014 at 8:31pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40917) - you deserved it (12330)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my husband decided to put different condiments on my body to make our sex better. I was thinking whipped cream; he was feeling ketchup. FML

#21039277
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47343) - you deserved it (4654)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband and I decided to have a quickie before the kids woke up from their nap. The sex was amazing and I couldn't hold in my screams or not hit the wall. About 15 minutes in, both of our children came busting in with their nerf guns, screaming, "Where's the monster?" FML

#21025946
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52316) - you deserved it (31867)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:53pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, it was my birthday, so when I woke up, I came downstairs yelling, "ALL I WANT FOR MY BIRTHDAY, IS A BIG BOOTY HOE," only to find that my family had thrown me a surprise party. All my grandparents were at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21025933
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30370) - you deserved it (37575)

On 01/12/2014 at 8:40pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML

#21023480
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41220) - you deserved it (4569)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

#21015899
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40307) - you deserved it (7607) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/03/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Elisa_LmR (woman) - France

Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML

#21015630
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35951) - you deserved it (11673)

On 01/03/2014 at 4:04pm - misc - by thanks.... (man) - United States

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

#21012409
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46937) - you deserved it (10939)

On 01/01/2014 at 1:41am - intimacy - by Lonesome (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I decided to light a lantern and watch it fly with my girlfriend after midnight. The neighbor's tree caught fire. FML

#21012276
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34900) - you deserved it (11123)

On 01/01/2014 at 12:17am - misc - by claubea11 - Puerto Rico



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