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Offline (the 07/07/2015 at 3:12pm) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 6 June 1995 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4164
  • Number of comments : 43
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About lordslaya53 : Please ignore my username I made it when I was maybe 12 haha
Guitarist/ audio engineer/ producer based out of Calgary, AB, Canada
My band's name is Plaguebringer and you can check us out on Facebook and buy our debut EP on Bandcamp!

lordslaya53's page activity

Visits<b>taranoelr</b> - the 11/02/2015 at 5:48pm<b>aha_awkward_</b> - the 10/08/2015 at 9:04pm<b>sarahgoulding</b> - the 09/24/2015 at 11:43pm<b>alex_gen</b> - the 08/29/2015 at 3:38pm<b>amc597</b> - the 08/12/2015 at 5:23pm<b>EezyWay</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 11:38pm<b>Xx_dankdoge_xX</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 8:44am<b>kalibunk</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 1:51am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 11:02am<b>MrsJoHood</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 4:50am<b>tralulilulalala</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:56am<b>spork_of_doom</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 1:52pm<b>watermelon1</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 10:13pm<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 6:56pm<b>shaar</b> - the 05/31/2015 at 6:41am<b>IniestaRox</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 6:27pm<b>ZoeeeGuyss</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 12:18am<b>James64138</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:40pm

Fucked!<b>James64138</b> - the 11/17/2014 at 1:11pm

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lordslaya53's favorite FMLs

Today, a customer came in with a laptop smashed beyond repair. She asked if we could recover her files, but thanks to my idiot boss' new store policy I had to ask her a bunch of questions, including if she had tried "turning it on and off". She stared at me, speechless, like I was a complete moron. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36716) - you deserved it (4175)

On 12/21/2014 at 2:08pm - work - by anonix (man) - Canada

Today, my sister turned the volume on my phone way up and changed the ringtone to a woman's blood-curdling scream. I found this out when she called my phone at 2am as I slept next to it. I pissed my pants and fell out of bed screaming in terror. I'll never hear the end of this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40623) - you deserved it (4171)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:54pm - kids - by terdberglerforlyfe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (35041) - you deserved it (3408)

On 12/06/2014 at 12:18am - work - by ring-a-ding-ding (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43538) - you deserved it (3997)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41274) - you deserved it (6805)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I caught a customer using his fat to shoplift gum out of a store. FML


I agree, your life sucks (37143) - you deserved it (2922)

On 09/14/2014 at 11:07pm - work - by nocat6 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47452) - you deserved it (10447) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went on Facebook. The third post down was a selfie of my mom looking sad, with the caption, "God I need a good dicking." FML


I agree, your life sucks (57538) - you deserved it (13636)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend reckoned that he has a better sleep when he falls asleep with his hand on either my boobs or my ass. I kind of just laughed it off. I later discovered he's 100% correct when he put his hand on my butt, and not five minutes later was snoring. FML


I agree, your life sucks (43864) - you deserved it (7375)

On 07/22/2014 at 4:44am - love - by and the truth comes out (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML


I agree, your life sucks (47515) - you deserved it (6875)

On 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, one of my year 9 students finished the test an hour early. He decided to spend the time by "stealthily" whacking off. His entire desk was shaking in a silent room. FML

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44339) - you deserved it (16598)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML


I agree, your life sucks (40142) - you deserved it (21496)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my guide dog sneezed so hard that it slammed its head on the floor and knocked itself out. I have to trust this dog with my life. FML


I agree, your life sucks (54611) - you deserved it (4769)

On 04/20/2014 at 12:03am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Idaho)

Today, I accidentally let a huge one rip while tending to an older patient at the nursing home where I work. The patient passed away shortly thereafter. Coincidence? FML


I agree, your life sucks (44496) - you deserved it (7105)

On 04/18/2014 at 9:19pm - work - by Anonymous - Norway (Nordland)

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