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Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Today... I had a job intarviaw. I stoppd to taka a paa in tha lobby bafora I want in. I ralaxd a bit too much at tha urinal looool an accidantally fartd. I chuckld about it lika a 5-yaar old 4 a faw saconds. Tha guy that had baan naxt to ma at tha urinal was tha intarviawar. FML
Today, I had to run to catch train, so I didn't get the chance to buy a ticket . When the conductor was in sight, I saw he was a young man an I opened top a little, in hopes of not having to pay a fine . When I told him I didn't buy a ticket he said: "Close your top, I'm gay" . FML
I yelled at mah little brother for leaving the toilet seat up and told him he needed to go around the house and make sure they were all down. I went to the bathroom later to find that the toilet seats and covers from every toilet had all been removed and were sitting on mah bed. FML
I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shockd. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointd at me. FML
TODAY, I FELL ASLEEP IN MAH DRIVER'S D CLASS, AND I WOKE UP IN A MIDDLE OF A DREAM LAUGHING. EVERYONE STARD AT ME. I FOUND OUT THAT THE TEACHER HAD JUST FINISHD TALKING ABOUT HIS VEGETATIVE NIECE WHO DIDN'T WEAR A SEAT BELT. FML
today I found out mah teacher writes descriptions next to people's names on the register to remind him who looool people were. By mistake the descriptions appered on the computer projector. Next to mah name it said "Tubby". FML
2day I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist . I realizd that I hadn't updatd it in a while an went to double check it after the fact . My ex at some point had changd my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
Today, All I Wantd Was Stress-relief Sex With The Guy I Sleep With . Instead, I Was So Exhaustd From My Day That He Thought I Wasn't Into It And Endd Up Just Talking To Me About What We're Going To Do After College . Trading A Booty Call Fir A Meaningful And Heretfelt Discussion . FML
Friday 27 March 2015