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lolwutthe

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lolwutthe

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 23 June 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 771
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, at work at a farm, we got a new calf. It looked like it had to poop, but was having difficulty. About four hours later it still hadn't pooped. Turns out it was born without an actual butthole. It was there, just sealed up by skin. I literally had to cut this poor calf a new butthole. FML

#20617044
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81289) - you deserved it (4207)

On 04/23/2013 at 10:01pm - animals - by halliemarie1818 - United States

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

#20608416
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54760) - you deserved it (7021)

On 04/20/2013 at 7:40pm - love - by Thanks Babe (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my crew was called out to do some house maintenance. We were nearly done, when someone had the goddamned fucking brilliant idea of washing plaster off their hands in the kitchen sink, which clogged the pipes. Instead of getting paid, we now owe for damages. FML

#20607182
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41255) - you deserved it (5031)

On 04/20/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was rear ended at McDonald's by the same driver who rear ended me at the same McDonald's last week. FML

#20607123
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54349) - you deserved it (7701)

On 04/20/2013 at 9:43am - misc - by dentedmercedes - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

#20605608
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54786) - you deserved it (6852)

On 04/19/2013 at 6:04pm - kids - by reyoflight (man) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48143) - you deserved it (9258)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, I briefly left my laptop while I went to use the toilet. When I came back, I found "I" had posted on Facebook, calling my mom a "stupid cunt who should just stay in the kitchen." The only other person home at the time was my grandpa. She didn't believe it, and permanently grounded me. FML

#20602422
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43465) - you deserved it (5226)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:30pm - misc - by phonesmuggler (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

#20596072
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69086) - you deserved it (12174)

On 04/16/2013 at 9:27am - intimacy - by notacaveman (man) - Netherlands

Today, it transpired that my mom has been spending her stint in prison trying to play matchmaker for me, going so far as to call one of her finds, "good breeding stock". Apparently, I don't already have enough criminals in my life; last September I was the only member of my family of 5 not locked up. FML

Today, I was dying my hair a subtly different color. It was only supposed to turn my hair a shade or two lighter, but it seems someone at the store thought it would be funny to switch the dye in the boxes around. My hair is purple. FML

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML

#20586452
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47626) - you deserved it (5453)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm - misc - by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friends and I were exchanging stories with one another. I barely got a few sentences in before they started mocking and viciously insulting me for saying "swaggered", claiming it comes from the slang term "swag", and that they never thought I was a "dumbass hipster". Really now? FML

#20582400
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33010) - you deserved it (6833)

On 04/09/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by nice education you've got there (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I refused to go down on my boyfriend of 9 months. He then shoved me off the couch and, half crying, yelled that I was the third girl this week to turn him down. After sobbing for a bit, he looked me in the eyes and said, "I need you to do this so I can prove my manhood." FML

#20581880
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68669) - you deserved it (10895)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - intimacy - by saywhat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

#20581879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38682) - you deserved it (3447)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)



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