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  • I agree, my mouse works.

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  • 50 favorites

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Lolwutthe's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up feeling awful, having caught the same illness my boyfriend had last night. When he was sick, I skipped my friend's baby shower to take care of him. Now that I'm sick, he goes to a friend's place, says to call if I need him, then turns his phone off. Seriously. FML

By Thanks Babe - / Saturday 20 April 2013 23:40 / United States - Aurora

Today, my crew was called out to do some house maintenance. We were nearly done, when someone had the goddamned fucking brilliant idea of washing plaster off their hands in the kitchen sink, which clogged the pipes. Instead of getting paid, we now owe for damages. FML

By Anonymous / Saturday 20 April 2013 14:26 / United States

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

By thanks gramps / Friday 19 April 2013 07:27 / Canada - Whitehorse

Today, I was rear ended at McDonald's by the same driver who rear ended me at the same McDonald's last week. FML

By dentedmercedes / Saturday 20 April 2013 13:43 / United States - Berkley

Today, I walked in on my 12-year-old daughter lying on her bed, repeatedly opening and closing her legs. I asked her what she was doing, and she replied, "Trying to queef. I saw it online." FML

By reyoflight - / Friday 19 April 2013 22:04 / Brazil - Rio De Janeiro