About lolmigosh : Am I the only one who looks up celebrities, hoping that there will be an FML about them?
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lolmigosh's favorite FMLs
Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML
by spiderwoman / 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Animals
Today, I was at a barbeque with my family, my boyfriend, and some mutual acquaintances. Someone jokingly called my boyfriend a pussy, to which he loudly replied, "I guess I am what I eat!" My mother was sitting across from us. FML
by Anonymous / 10/31/2012 at 4:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML
by jeanrose2013 / 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm / United States (Arkansas) / Love
Today, my mom was feeling down, so I decided to buy her a gift. Knowing she likes lighthouses, I bought her a tiny one that plugs in and lights up. I brought it home, plugged it in, and when she saw me with it, she said, "Wipe that smirk off your face and get that junk out of here." FML
by NoorFML / 10/19/2012 at 10:37am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
Today, I was walking home when I saw an elderly woman struggling with a large bag of garbage. I asked if I could help. I got it all the way to the dumpster and the bag ripped. Inside were about fourteen dead cats. FML
by AdamwithanA / 10/10/2012 at 11:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
by ohgod. / 10/09/2012 at 10:59pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by anonymous / 10/09/2012 at 1:53am / United States / Kids
Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML
by stoych / 10/08/2012 at 3:14am / United Kingdom / Love
by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Work
by imafunguy / 10/04/2012 at 8:28pm / United States / Love
Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML
by Anonymous / 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/02/2012 at 3:39pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML
by kira / 10/02/2012 at 6:29am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Sad ex-wife / 09/21/2012 at 11:11am / United Kingdom (Leicester) / Love
- Today, I was at my boyfriends house and we were having sex. He has a game on in the background and… Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome… Today, I was fooling around a bit with my girlfriend while cooking dinner when she said, "Don't get…
- Today my boyfriend tried to pull a super sexy move by removing my shirt with his teeth. Instead he… Today, in the middle of the night I went to bathroom. As I got up my bed my girlfriend was talking… Today, after waiting weeks to hear back from his insurance agency, I got a call telling me that the…