This member hasn't filled in their description.
lolly_bags's FML badges
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
lolly_bags's favorite FMLs
by Roida / 10/26/2009 at 6:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 10/25/2009 at 2:28pm / United States (Alaska) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML
by Anonymous / 10/24/2009 at 6:27am / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my SUV in to get the oil changed, and the tires rotated. They allowed me to stay there, because they said it would only take 30 minutes. So I sit there in the waiting room, and I look through the window only to see my SUV falling off the lift, from 6 feet in the air. FML
by effmylife / 10/23/2009 at 6:09am / United States (New Jersey) / Transportation
by wahwah / 10/23/2009 at 2:51am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I learned that being a twin really isn't that cool. After laughing at my twin brother for getting a speeding ticket he turns to me and says "It's not mine." Confused, I look at the ticket and see my name. He used my license. FML
by Twinner / 10/20/2009 at 3:03pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Transportation
by stick / 10/20/2009 at 12:05pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, some thug tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves and told a cop that I did it. FML
by BobbyHutchinson / 10/20/2009 at 11:57am / Australia (South Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought a safe. I put all of my most prized possessions in it, including all of my jewelry, family heirlooms and important papers. Oh, and just before I locked it up, I put the key to the safe in there too. FML
by smarty / 10/16/2009 at 5:02pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by sighoutloud / 10/15/2009 at 11:36pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was invited to a birthday dinner at a restaurant. As I was leaving, I get a text from the birthday girl's boyfriend saying that it was cancelled. Hungry, I decided to go to that particular restaurant anyway. Turns out the party wasn't cancelled. Half the party just didn't want me there. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2009 at 12:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML
by Taraa3 / 10/10/2009 at 6:19am / United Kingdom (Hartlepool) / Intimacy
Today, I chose to wear khaki dress pants to class to look professional. I was in the hallway when one of my professors pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling well. Apparently, the dryer had "eaten" my pants and made a large brown stain on the butt, making it look like I had crapped myself. FML
by coolchicka05 / 10/06/2009 at 4:28am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I did a 3 hour long assignment for school. I was bored so I gave it the title "F***ing Assignment for a F***ing Teacher." I went downstairs only to discover that the printer was out of ink. So I sent it to her email, then I realized that I didn't change the title. FML
by BadStuden / 10/04/2009 at 9:47pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work
Today, I picked my car up from the shop. After 5 minutes I noticed the oil and check engine light on. I pulled over, then the engine shut off completely. Turns out they forgot to put oil back in my car. I'll be needing a new engine. FML
by cartrouble / 10/02/2009 at 1:51am / United States (Georgia) / Transportation
- Today, I woke up with a strange and itchy feeling in my anus. When I told my boyfriend about it, he… Today, I was in the middle of having sex with my girlfriend. I told her that I loved her. She asked… Today, I slept with my deputy manager. He slept with my insane jealous housemate months ago. I need…