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About lollipopp56 : yoo
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML
I agree, your life sucks (149041) - you deserved it (22383)
On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I woke up from a dream about finding a vending machine that gave me free food. I kept eating, it was so satisfying words could not describe how great it felt. Then I realized my hands were in between my legs, I had been touching myself dreaming about free food from a vending machine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (57959) - you deserved it (11006)
On 06/11/2009 at 1:51pm - intimacy - by hdat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (59114) - you deserved it (3362)
On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the extremely crowded gym when someone came up behind me and shouted in my ear scaring the living shit out of me. I jump into a karate pose in front of everyone. No one was behind me. It was a new song starting on my headphones. A trainer asked me if I needed an ambulance. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23434) - you deserved it (47361)
On 06/01/2009 at 9:53pm - health - by dearme (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I was sitting next to this really cute guy in choir class. Trying to make conversation, I asked him what his favorite song was. He replied "Leave Me Alone". I asked him who it was by and he said, "It's not a song, I just want you to leave me alone". FML
I agree, your life sucks (20146) - you deserved it (5395)
On 05/15/2009 at 2:35pm - misc - by jayden5 (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (81663) - you deserved it (15874)
On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my daughter said "I love you mom", to me for the first time I can remember. She is 16 years old. She said it because I bought her first thong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51560) - you deserved it (7850)
On 04/30/2009 at 10:50pm - kids - by mylove (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I brought a cute guy back from the bar to have sex. He was drunk, so he had trouble getting it up, and I said jokingly "you need to work on that". We fell asleep, and I woke up the next morning to him gone and a note that said "you need to work on not farting in your sleep". FML
I agree, your life sucks (17247) - you deserved it (62134)
On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)
Today, when I was walking in to the grocery store, a van pulls up and a bunch of guys get out who look really drunk. I jokingly said to the sober-looking man who had driven the van "Sucks you have to be the designated driver!" Turns out the "Drunk" guys were actually mentally challenged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10083) - you deserved it (46142)
On 04/20/2009 at 11:14pm - misc - by dummy441 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was carrying some luggage downstairs to put in my car to head back to college. My brother told me my shoes were untied. He said he would tie them for me as I was carrying luggage. I fell down the stairs because he thought it would be funny to tie them together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38860) - you deserved it (7732)
On 04/14/2009 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was riding on a stationary exercise bike at home, when I went to get off, my shorts got stuck under the seat. I dangled half upside down until my shorts ripped and I fell on the ground face first breaking my front tooth. I broke my tooth riding a bike that doesn’t even move. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47982) - you deserved it (6855)
On 04/10/2009 at 4:17am - misc - by missy (woman) - Italy (Toscana)
Today, I told my ex boyfriend I lost 20 lbs because of the stress of the break up. His response was "you're welcome." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42200) - you deserved it (18766)
On 04/09/2009 at 6:11pm - misc - by blutownie13 - United States
Today, I ran over a squirrel. I saw it twitching, so I backed over it to end its suffering. It wasn't a squirrel; it was a kitten. The children it belonged to watched as I ran over their kitten. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56674) - you deserved it (138542)
On 04/07/2009 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, we had a school assembly at 7:00pm about drinking and driving. There was a cop doing a demonstration of a feild sobriety test on stage. I was randomly selected to perform a breathalyzer test infront of all the students and parents. I blew. 06%. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17704) - you deserved it (71131)
On 04/07/2009 at 4:44pm - health - by schoolgrlstaci (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was in a store using the only bathroom there. After I was done, I realized I couldn't open the door. Panicked it locked me in, I banged on the door, and screamed for help. The security and a whole group of people gathered, only to find that I was pulling the door instead of pushing it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11469) - you deserved it (66148)
On 04/07/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Japan
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