About lolfood : Welcome to my profile. Sorry for whatever I did, or offended you with, because that is probably the reason you are on my profile. Either that, or I made you laugh. Another reason would be the picture that I have. I have devoted my life to becoming a Grammar Nazi. It pisses me off when people comment "that sucks," or something to the same effect and lack of creativity. Happy stalking!
I'm going to be a regular here.
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I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
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Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24230) - you deserved it (2357)
On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25406) - you deserved it (4085)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26059) - you deserved it (2901)
On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)
Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14754) - you deserved it (36741)
On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)
Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21501) - you deserved it (3874)
On 08/22/2011 at 10:57am - animals - by rearwindow - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20078) - you deserved it (3926)
On 08/16/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by froggylicious - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11744) - you deserved it (36543)
On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)
Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24837) - you deserved it (3992)
On 08/13/2011 at 11:31am - misc - by NotSoAnon (man) - United States
Today, my dad told me that after my two older siblings were born, he got a vasectomy. However, something went wrong, and the vasectomy had failed, resulting in me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26399) - you deserved it (2361)
On 08/12/2011 at 9:14am - kids - by LuckySperm (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)
Today, since I'm too ashamed to go buy a proper sex toy, I used an old Star Wars toy sword instead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9424) - you deserved it (37056)
On 08/11/2011 at 1:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)
Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21976) - you deserved it (1993)
On 08/08/2011 at 3:10am - misc - by noooo (woman) - United States (California)
Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML
I agree, your life sucks (36265) - you deserved it (1914)
On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34341) - you deserved it (4138)
On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States
Today, I realized that as a U.S. Marine in the infantry, I'm more afraid to talk to girls than I am of getting shot at. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34341) - you deserved it (4138)
On 08/03/2011 at 3:40am - love - by Tim - United States
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36332) - you deserved it (10769)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)
Monday 17 June 2013
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