Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

lolfood

Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member

lolfood

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2692
  • Number of comments : 414
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 58 posted

About lolfood : Welcome to my profile.




















































...





























































.































































...





























































.






























































...





























































.




























































...





























































.































... Why are you still here?

lolfood's page activity

Visits<b>BirdieCurls</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 6:42pm<b>CareFreeBanana</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 7:05am<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:39pm<b>Global_User</b> - the 08/27/2014 at 2:31pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 6:37pm<b>Maria_BVB_Army</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 2:08am<b>Tl471</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 8:49am<b>CubanBitchh</b> - the 07/08/2014 at 12:21am<b>thatcrazygiirl</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:27pm<b>trinalporpus</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 8:46pm<b>Wingman527</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 11:21pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 06/23/2014 at 3:26pm<b>cheesybanana703</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 9:10am<b>mossbeg410</b> - the 05/23/2014 at 10:29pm<b>Death_The_Kid15</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 10:29pm<b>44LynnLynn</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 6:09am<b>hotbutthurttoast</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 9:21am<b>tuckit</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 1:31pm

lolfood's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of lolfood's badges

lolfood's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

#17658715
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40072) - you deserved it (2046)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to a football game. During a time out, my face appeared on the Jumbotron during the Kiss Cam segment. I was sitting next to my mother. FML

#17657793
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28834) - you deserved it (2473)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

#17657733
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39004) - you deserved it (5616)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:08am - intimacy - by May - United States (New York)

Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML

#17639709
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30843) - you deserved it (4175)

On 09/01/2011 at 10:29pm - animals - by macattack (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML

#17633195
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28893) - you deserved it (2293)

On 09/01/2011 at 1:29am - misc - by bob - United States

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26380) - you deserved it (9931)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, while playing with bubble wrap, I dislocated my thumb. FML

#17628790
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22399) - you deserved it (13133)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:02am - health - by Bigpoppa0507 - Canada

Today, I visited my son at work. He's an interpreter for the government. As I watched him converse with a group of men, I was overcome with pride. Then the woman next to me said "I can't believe they're talking about that in public." They were discussing masturbation techniques. FML

#17625902
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30808) - you deserved it (3369)

On 08/30/2011 at 11:30pm - intimacy - by mystupidson (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31359) - you deserved it (5438)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend wrote me a break-up letter, using Comic Sans. FML

#17576599
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31124) - you deserved it (4006)

On 08/25/2011 at 10:33am - love - by hendrix1 - United States (California)

Today, I work by myself at a retail store and I was bored so I called my boyfriend. I woke him up and he was feeling frisky, and as things were getting heated I started to moan and say dirty things. Until the entire rack of clothes fell over and revealed my boss hiding. He had a boner. FML

#17557500
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18796) - you deserved it (51006)

On 08/23/2011 at 12:18pm - intimacy - by MissCan'tKeepAJob - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched my neighbor bring his dogs into my yard to let them empty their piss-pipes and poop-chutes. He does this twice a day. I put a "cut it out" sign up. His dogs peed on the sign and knocked it down. My lawn is a landmine of dog logs and I don't know what to do, besides installing actual landmines. FML

Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML

#17490517
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24742) - you deserved it (5151)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by froggylicious - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

#17488999
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14848) - you deserved it (49830)

On 08/16/2011 at 9:20am - love - by worried (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was painting my room. I told my mom not to open the door because I was on a ladder just behind it, with a paint can perched atop. She barged in to ask me what I'd said. FML

#17459271
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29757) - you deserved it (4474)

On 08/13/2011 at 11:31am - misc - by NotSoAnon (man) - United States



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: